Jokes Duniya

One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here.”

The astonished Chinese man replied “It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese”. “Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,” replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says “You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.”

Shocked, Spielberg replies “It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.”
The Chinese replies, “Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re all the same.”

When I was a toddler, someone gave me a little Tea Set as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. My father was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of tea, which was just water, of course.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, ‘Just the cutest thing!’

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy.

She watches him drink it up and then says, “Did it ever occur to you that the only place that a toddler can reach to get water is the toilet?”

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
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Cut off your head.

Jack’s grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more.

On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men’s names! Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her.

“Diane,” he said, “The only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he died”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied, “I don’t care who gave you the money!”

Happy with their two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters but wanting a son, a middle-aged couple decided to try one last time. After months of effort, the wife finally became pregnant, and nine months later she delivered a healthy baby boy.

The happy father rushed to the nursery to see his new son and was horrified to discover that the child was possibly the ugliest he had ever seen.

The man went back to his wife. “There’s no way I could be the father of that baby! Look at the two beautiful daughters I’ve had!” He glared at his wife.

“Have you been fooling around on me?”, the wife answered ..”Not this time…”