Funniest Animal Jokes




Big white cat



Daughter told to her mother, “Right now I have seen a healthy white big cat went out from our kitchen”

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Mother told, ” It is good sign and fortune to see a white big cat.”

Daughter replied, “Yes fortune is that it has eaten all of your foods.”

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Go, get some beer!



One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper’s house, drinking beer.

They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more beer.

The snail said, “I’d go, but I’m kinda slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this is your neighborhood so you know where to go.”

The grasshopper said, “I don’t mind going, but my hopping will shake up the beer and we’ll get sprayed every time we open one.”

So they decided to send the centipede and the grasshopper explained how to get to the nearest liquor store.

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An hour or so passed and still the centipede hadn’t returned, so the snail and the grasshopper decided to go look for him.

They got as far as the the front door and found the centipede sitting there putting on his shoes.

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Cockroaches are getting cancer!




The Chicken or The Egg



The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.

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The egg mutters “Well I guess that answers that riddle”.

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Yeh soch kar ruka hua hoo



Pehla gadha: Yaar mein jis dhobi ke ghar kaam karta hoo, vo mujhe bahut marta hai.

Doosra gadha: Tu ghar chor kar bhaag kyo nahi jata.

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Pehla gadha:
Kya batau yaar dhobi ki ek bahut koobsurat ladki hai, vo jab bhi shararat karti hai to dhobi kehta hai ki, teri shaadi kisi gadhe se kar dunga.
Bas yeh soch kar ruka hua hoo.

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