One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance.
The fish said to itself, “If that fly comes six inches closer, I’ll jump up and have myself a meal.” Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, ” if that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and i’ll catch the fish and have myself a meal.”
As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, “If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, and i’ll shoot the bear.”
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Santa is a evening bird lover. One day he stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he’d give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again.
The next night the same scenario occurred. All summer, Santa and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the “conversations.”
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication.
His wife, Jeeto, had a chat with Preeto (Mrs Banta), her next door neighbour.
“My husband spends his nights calling to owls,” she said. “That`s odd,” the neighbour replied. “So does my husband.”
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.
The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.
The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.”
“I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”