Funniest Animal Jokes





Faithful



A man went to sell his dog. A buyer asked him, “Is this dog faithful?”

faithful.jpg

The man replied, “Yes,I have sold him 3 times but he returns to me.”

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Big white cat



Daughter told to her mother, “Right now I have seen a healthy white big cat went out from our kitchen”

white-cat.jpg

Mother told, ” It is good sign and fortune to see a white big cat.”

Daughter replied, “Yes fortune is that it has eaten all of your foods.”

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Monkey was handling the steering



Once a plane crashed somewhere in the mountains, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive.

Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand English and reply. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: “When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?”
Monkey: “Tying their belts”

Officer: “What were the air hostesses doing?”
Monkey: “Saying Hello! Good morning!”

plane-crash.jpg

Officer: “What were the pilots doing?”
Monkey: “Checking the system”

Officer: “What were you doing?”
Monkey: “Looking for my people”
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A cute little dog



A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”

The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”

dog

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch!” He says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”

The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”

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Run from a bear



Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.

The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.

outrunbear.jpg

The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.”

“I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”

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