Funniest Animal Jokes





Beware of the Panda



A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.

The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don’t understand.”

20548585thm.jpg

The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks out of the door.

So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading “Panda”. It reads:

“Panda black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.”

Comments(6)| |

Got any grapes?



A ducks walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?

The bartender confused, tells the duck that no, his bar doesn’t serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, “Got any grapes?”

Duck

Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell,

“Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ”Got any nails?
Confused, the bartenders says no.

”Good!” says the duck, “Got any grapes?”

Comments(1)| |

How will you survive in this situation?



Survive from lion
Make an honest attempt before you scroll down to see the answer
-
-
-
THINK…
-
-
-
THINK…
-
-
-
THINK…MORE…
-
-
-
OK, SO YOU GIVE UP?
-
-
-
HERE’S THE ANSWER
Continue Reading »

Comments(18)| |

Mere chote bhai ki shadi hai…



A sher is getting married in jungle. There is a big bash and all animals are dancing to the tune of loud music being played.

In a corner a chooha too is dancing.

He is asked, “Are bhai choohe, aap kyu nach rahe ho?”

mouse

“Mere chote bhai ki shadi hai…Nachunga Nahin?”

“Sher kabse aapka bhai hone laga?”

“Shadi se pehle main bhi sher tha!”, replied chooha.

Comments(136)| |

Jaadu Ki Jhappi…



Pages (8): [1] 2 3 4 » ... Last »

Receive the best jokes...

Tired of all those crappy, "not so funny" old jokes?

We have gone through thousands of jokes and selected only the funniest ones which will definitely make you laugh your ass off.

Simply fill and submit the form below and receive the hilarious jokes every week in your email:

Name:
Email:

? >