Funniest Animal Jokes





Run from a bear



Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.

The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.

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The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.”

“I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”

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A Hard ROCKING Party’s SNAPS!



After 6 beers
dog

After 2 glasses of wine
wine dog

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Smart dogs



Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.

One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog. “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

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Everyone agreed that that that was pretty smart.
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Monkey was handling the steering



Once a plane crashed somewhere in the mountains, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive.

Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand English and reply. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: “When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?”
Monkey: “Tying their belts”

Officer: “What were the air hostesses doing?”
Monkey: “Saying Hello! Good morning!”

plane-crash.jpg

Officer: “What were the pilots doing?”
Monkey: “Checking the system”

Officer: “What were you doing?”
Monkey: “Looking for my people”
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Talking to owl



Santa is a evening bird lover. One day he stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he’d give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again.

The next night the same scenario occurred. All summer, Santa and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the “conversations.”

owlss.jpg

Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication.

His wife, Jeeto, had a chat with Preeto (Mrs Banta), her next door neighbour.

“My husband spends his nights calling to owls,” she said. “That`s odd,” the neighbour replied. “So does my husband.”

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