Jokes Duniya

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the dancer from my bachelor party, oh my god, I know I was drunk that night, but you got pregnant too!!Please don’t tell my wife, she’ll kill me!

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?”

“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”

“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six!” he said.

Here are the 10 fun things to do in a final exam. But beware, you’d have to be ready for the consequences too!!

1. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

2. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor’s left nostril.

3. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: “I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs.” Be creative.
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1. Drum on every available surface.

2. Sing the Batman theme incessantly, going “Batman!!”

3. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

4. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

5. Set alarms for random times.

6. Honk and wave to strangers.

7. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
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Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.

God comes and says, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.”

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God got mad and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only, one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

And the man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”