Hilarious Lawyer Jokes




I Love Hearing It!



A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer”.

The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week”.

The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer”. Once again the receptionist replies, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week”.

Man on phone

The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, “I want to speak to my lawyer”.

“Excuse me sir, “the receptionist says, “but this is third time I’ve had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?”

The guy replies, “Because I love hearing it!”

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Stupid lawyer



Lawyer asked to the Lady, “How was your first marriage terminated?”

The lady replied, “By death.”

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Lawyer asked again, “Well, by whose death was it terminated?”

Lady replied, “Non-sense.!!

The lawyer asked again, “At east try to guess it.”

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Lawyer In hell



A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil’s hands. “You will be spending eternity here, but I’ll let you pick your own room from three I’ll show you,” the devil said.

In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. “I don’t like that,” said the man. “Show me the second.”

In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. “Well, that’s better than brick,” the man said, “but show me the third.”

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In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee.

“I’ll choose this room,” he said.

Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.

Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, “OK, coffee break is over, back on your heads.”

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Lawyer’s grave



A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”

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“Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, Why would you think that?

The tombstone back there said, “Here lies a lawyer an honest man.”

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Lawyer are clever



An old penny pincher had no friends. Just before he died he asked his doctor, lawyer, and pastor to gather around him at bedside.

“I have always heard that you can’t take it with you. But I want to disprove that theory,” he said. “I have $90,000 under my mattress, and when I die, just before they throw the dirt on me at my burial, I want you each to toss in an envelope with $30,000 within.”

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The three attended the funeral and each threw his envelope in the grave. On the way back from the cemetery, the pastor said, “I must confess. I needed $10,000 for my new church, so I only threw in $20,000.”

The doctor then said,
“I must confess too. I needed $20,000 for a new hospital I was opening up, so I only threw in $10,000.”

The lawyer looked at them both and shook his head. He then said, “Gentlemen, I’m surprised, shocked, and ashamed of you. I don’t see how you could dare to go against that man’s final wish. I mean, I threw in my personal check for the full amount”

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