Lawyer asked to the Lady, “How was your first marriage terminated?”
The lady replied, “By death.”
Lawyer asked again, “Well, by whose death was it terminated?”
Lady replied, “Non-sense.!!
The lawyer asked again, “At east try to guess it.”
A Philosopher is giving speech in a crowed, he told to the people, “Always listen to your wife as she gives 100% sound advice.”
People from the crowed asked him, “Please Sir, tell in details how the wife gives 100% sound advice?”
The Philosopher replied, “99% sound and 1% advice.”
A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer”.
The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week”.
The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer”. Once again the receptionist replies, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week”.
The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, “I want to speak to my lawyer”.
“Excuse me sir, “the receptionist says, “but this is third time I’ve had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?”
The guy replies, “Because I love hearing it!”
A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil’s hands. “You will be spending eternity here, but I’ll let you pick your own room from three I’ll show you,” the devil said.
In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. “I don’t like that,” said the man. “Show me the second.”
In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. “Well, that’s better than brick,” the man said, “but show me the third.”
In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee.
“I’ll choose this room,” he said.
Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.
Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, “OK, coffee break is over, back on your heads.”
A lawyer approached to an elderly grandmother and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’re a big disappointment to me.
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.”
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
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