Jokes Duniya

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”

“Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, Why would you think that?

The tombstone back there said, “Here lies a lawyer an honest man.”

A Philosopher is giving speech in a crowed, he told to the people, “Always listen to your wife as she gives 100% sound advice.”

People from the crowed asked him, “Please Sir, tell in details how the wife gives 100% sound advice?”

The Philosopher replied, “99% sound and 1% advice.”

A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on very well. One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if he could arrange a divorce for him, “Very quick”!

The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked these questions:

LAWYER: “Have you any grounds?”
POLE: An acre and half, and a nice 3 bedroom house.

LAWYER: “No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?”
POLE: “It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar.”

LAWYER: Does either of you have a real grudge?”
POLE: No, We have a carport and don’t need a grudge.

LAWYER: “I mean, what are your relations like?”
POLE: “All my relations live in Poland.”

LAWYER: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
POLE: “Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound.

LAWYER: “No, I mean does your wife beat you up?”
POLE: “No, I’m always up before her.”

LAWYER: “Why do you want this divorce?”
POLE: “She going to kill me!”

LAWYER: “What makes you think that?”
POLE: “I got proof.”

LAWYER: “What kind of proof?”
POLE: “She going to poison me. She buy bottle at drug store and I read label. It say “Polish Remover”

Lawyer asked to the Lady, “How was your first marriage terminated?”

The lady replied, “By death.”

Lawyer asked again, “Well, by whose death was it terminated?”

Lady replied, “Non-sense.!!

The lawyer asked again, “At east try to guess it.”

Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”

Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”