Hilarious Lawyer Jokes




Stupid lawyer



Lawyer asked to the Lady, “How was your first marriage terminated?”

The lady replied, “By death.”

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Lawyer asked again, “Well, by whose death was it terminated?”

Lady replied, “Non-sense.!!

The lawyer asked again, “At east try to guess it.”

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I Love Hearing It!



A guy phones a law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer”.

The receptionist says, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week”.

The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, “I want to speak to my lawyer”. Once again the receptionist replies, “I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week”.

Man on phone

The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, “I want to speak to my lawyer”.

“Excuse me sir, “the receptionist says, “but this is third time I’ve had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?”

The guy replies, “Because I love hearing it!”

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Lawyer’s grave



A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”

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“Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, Why would you think that?

The tombstone back there said, “Here lies a lawyer an honest man.”

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I Know You



A lawyer approached to an elderly grandmother and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’re a big disappointment to me.

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You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.”

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

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Paying the fine money



A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes.

The judge said “Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100.”

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The lawyer stood up and said “Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, But if you’d allow him a few minutes in the crowd he will gather all the required fine.”

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