Hilarious Lawyer Jokes




That’s Strange



A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.”

tomb stone

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, “Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.”

That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark, “That’s Strange.”

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Stupid lawyer



Lawyer asked to the Lady, “How was your first marriage terminated?”

The lady replied, “By death.”

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Lawyer asked again, “Well, by whose death was it terminated?”

Lady replied, “Non-sense.!!

The lawyer asked again, “At east try to guess it.”

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Performe an autopsy



Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
Witness: “No.”

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Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
Witness: “No.”

Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”

Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”

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Lawyer’s grave



A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?”

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“Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, Why would you think that?

The tombstone back there said, “Here lies a lawyer an honest man.”

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Lawyer In hell



A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil’s hands. “You will be spending eternity here, but I’ll let you pick your own room from three I’ll show you,” the devil said.

In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. “I don’t like that,” said the man. “Show me the second.”

In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. “Well, that’s better than brick,” the man said, “but show me the third.”

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In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee.

“I’ll choose this room,” he said.

Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.

Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, “OK, coffee break is over, back on your heads.”

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