Nasty and Rude Jokes





Car puncture



Baap bete se: Car mein puncture kaise ho gaya?

Beta: Sadak par bottle padi thi.

caraccident.jpg

Baap: Bottel dikhayi nahi di tujhe!

Beta: Ladke ki jeb mein thi.

Comments(16)| |

Funny furneal



A family was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.

The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,

bacoffin.jpg

I am sending mothers body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home.

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under her body, cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.

On her feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi’s sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

She(dead mother) is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.

Just distribute the rest among yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that she is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on her left wrist.

Shanta masi, she is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.

The 6 white cotton socks she is wearing must be divided among my nephews. Please distribute all these fairly.

PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days..

Comments(29)| |

Shadi nahi kar sakta



Boyfriend to Girlfriend: Darling main tumse shaadi nahi kar sakta gharwale mana karrahe hai.

chatting.jpg

Girlfriend: Tumhare ghar mein kaun kaun hai?

Boyfriend: Ek biwi aur 3 bacche…

Comments(12)| |

Phone ki ganti



Phone ki ganti baji.
Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.

Phone

Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!

Comments(6)| |

Tumhe phansi hogi



Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.

Sardar: Ha ha ha!

hangtode.jpg

Police: Kyu hass rahe ho?

Sardar: Main toh subah 8 baje tak sota hoon!

Comments(14)| |

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