Jokes Duniya

Would you like to go back to nursery again and learn a whole new set of A,B,C,…? Learning can be so much funnnn when you have a friend like Banta in class. He’s invented a whole new nomenclature of A for Apple. Make sure you memorize this new list!!

Banta in classroom - Madam maine “abc” yaad karli..
Madam - Ok , to sunao..

Banta - abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam - Arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple

Banta - Ok Madam…. A for apple.

B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.

H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple

V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur………..

So, let’s go to Banta and learn the new A, B, Cs from him, no more B for Ball, C for Cat, chill out, it’s time for Banta’s A, B, Cs! It’s not that hard to memorize them- An apple just makes its way for another apple and the chain goes on. Imagine the teacher’s expression after hearing Banta’s A, B, C…..Hats off to Banta!!

After years of togetherness of Mr. and Mrs. Bean, meet the kiddo now, yup, this time, ladies and gentlemen I introduce you little Bean! He’s studying in his fifth grade, but see….he has already turned out to become so smart and wickedd… Check out our lil’ Bean!

Call him notorious, but Lil’ Bean is something! He throws parties and invites his friends over and chills out with bottles of beers and wines. Check out his outrageous b’day bash:

The young dude is so very notorious that you won’t believe how he treats woman…I mean girls…..oh, I mean other kids. Nevermind, see him in a new avatar here:

Mr. and Mrs. Bean are wondering what to do with their little boy. May be you can help. Tell us what should be done to the boy, there has to be a way to stop his mischief?!! What do you say?

Now that we all have laughed over the tragedy of Mr. Bachelor’s surrender to marriage, let me introduce you to the bride who’s eagerly waiting for the man of her dreams!! Oh, she’s been sooooo darn lonely all her life. The truth is that she’s waiting for her fairy tale ending. ONLY TRUE LOVE CAN TURN HER TO A LOVELY PRINCESS. Aren’t you thinking of being her bridegroom-to-be?

But it’s true, Patience is the key! Look whom has she found as her perfect soulmate…

Yup, Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s Mr. BEAn Laden; you won’t believe how incredibly lovely she has become after finding her true love!!

Don’t you want to check her out now? See how amazing she looks after meeting the man of her dreams. She has totally transformed. Go here.

Wow, don’t they look as if they’re MFEO (Made For Each Other)! Now that’s what I call a Happy Ending, and you thought it only existed in fairy tales??

And you thought that Abhi-Ash or Brangelina were the best couple around?

After seeing Mr. and Mrs. Bean Laden, I’m sure you all are delighted to know about their true Happily Ever-After story. So if you were to choose between Abhi-Ash, Brangelina and Mr. and Mrs. Bean Laden, whom would you vote for?

Please vote for Mr. and Mrs. Bean, you can win free invitations to their grand Marriage Reception! Yeah,VOTE FOR BEANS!!

Take a look at the best couple again and keep voting for them:

Some pictures speak louder than words.

Don’t believe me. These pictures speak up everything about the advantages of bachelorhood. See it for yourself.

Morning : If you do not prepare Breakfast then,
Taaapaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

Evening : If you talk with girls.
Dishuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm….

Night: If you Deny to take her to Restaurant.

Pataaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

Its Better to be Bachelor ….
“Meine Shaadi kyon kiii ???”

But dear bachelors! never give up, you can always sustain your bachelorhood like the frog in this picture. Never say die!

Even if you did end up with your family pressurizing you for marriage, hope your wife wouldn’t look like this:

See our local spiderman after he got married. He’s said to have been caught by JJJDD (Jitendra’s Jumping Jack Dancing Disease)! So if you DO intend to get married, make sure you DO know what are you going to do?!! Check out what happened to our local spiderman here.

There are more meaningful funny pictures in store. Hope you get the stories behind every pictures! Click here to see more.

Do you know what’s the difference between work and prison?
==> In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8′X 10′ cell and at work you spend most of your time in 6′X 8′ cubic space. Don’t you agree?

You start wondering what you are doing in that 6′X 8′cubic space with your boss giving you a stink eye everytime he passes by and with that load of deadlines and pending tasks piled up on your desk can only make you go miserable!

But what smart people do is make the humour out of the tragedy and that irony by breaking every monday morning work blues with a topping of satire and humour.

Sometimes even if you seem to be liking your job, there might be several disappointments regarding your boss and colleagues. Sometimes, the best way to get rid of those life’s inevitable miseries is to laugh out loud and make jokes out of it.

Something like this one:

Do you know about the 10 rules to get guaranteed promotion without any hard work? Read this but don’t take this too seriously!

1. Never walk without a document in your hands

People with documents in their hand look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy

Any time you use a computer, it looks like ‘work’ to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk

Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

There are 7 more. Go on follow this link to find out more:

Now you might also want to take a look at a typical office memo? Do you think that only your workplace sucks? Check this out to know what an ideal office memo can be :

Take a look at the preview:

Dear Staff,
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

More here:

So just seat back and relax in that little 6′X 8′cubic space working area of yours and read these funny office and business jokes to discover that you’re not the only one with work blueszzz!

Click here.