Jokes Duniya

Ever wondered what microsoft would look like if it built a car ?
Hm..
It will of course have windows. A lot of high tech windows.And here are 2 things that I am pretty sure that microsoft will implement.

• The airbag system would say, “Are you sure?” before going off.
• To turn of the engine the driver would have to first press the start button !

 
Ah, that was funny. But we all know that technology and computers have grown to such an extent that it has almost overpowered human beings. I am not implying that it is a bad thing. But at least we can have laugh about how we are changin each day.

Take a look at these pictures to see how much daily lives have been changed:

This week we will be posting a lot more jokes like these about computers, computer companies, and other technology related stuffs.

You can get them right now here.

Okay now what if restaurants functioned like Microsoft.
Here is a possible scenario.

Guest : Waiter!

Waiter ( arrives) :

Hi, my name is Bill and I’ll be your Support. May I have your telephone number, area code first before you say anything else? Your visit may be monitored for purposes of quality control. Now, what seems to be the problem?

Guest : There’s a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Exit the restaurant and re-enter, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.

Guest: No, it’s still there.

Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Guest: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Guest: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Guest: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Guest: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Guest: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Guest: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Guest: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I’m running late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Guest: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet.

Guest: Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything.

[Waiter leaves.]

Guest: Waiter! There’s a cockroach in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . $ 5.00

Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . $ 2.50

Access to support . . . . . . . . . . $10.00

Note: Bug in the soup included at no extra charge

(will be fixed with Tomorrow’s soup of the day)

Click here for more funny computer stuffs like these.

There’ s a child in all of us. Every once in a while that child just comes out in a form of innocence or in a form of childish humour.

Do you know what Pappu would say if asked, “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?”

The answer that Papppu would give is sweet, and true if you’ve been a backbencher in your class- “Teacher”, of course!!

Whenever I think of my own schooldays, all those golden flashbacks of yesteryears come to me in a real slow motion. I know it sounds real filmy but I bet you guys have your own sweet memories of your school and college days too.

Homeworks are always boring, you don’t agree? Take a look here:



The sun shines bright in a classroom when the Math teacher falls sick and a class is off! How about wishing him well?

Think of those unwelcomed examinations and then your weak preparations. Remember how you wanted to get rid of those exam fevers?

Here’s a good joke for it:
A good friend is one who tells you to study well, but a best friend is one who stands outside the examination room and shouts
“Abbe kuch aa raha hai ya aur cheat fekuuuu”

A little touch of humour mixed with little masti and fun of school and college days can really really turn you ON. That’s the beauty of laughter and jokes. And on top of all that, school and college jokes are something that we all can relate to.

Well, do you want to know what happened to a college student who needed to give a wildlife Zoology test?

What happened when the zoology professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares- in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird’s legs?? No bodies,no feet, just legs. How did the student recognize the birds??

Get the answer here:

Would you like to go back to nursery again and learn a whole new set of A,B,C,…? Learning can be so much funnnn when you have a friend like Banta in class. He’s invented a whole new nomenclature of A for Apple. Make sure you memorize this new list!!

Banta in classroom – Madam maine “abc” yaad karli..
Madam - Ok , to sunao..

Banta – abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam – Arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple

Banta – Ok Madam…. A for apple.

B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.

H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple

V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur………..

So, let’s go to Banta and learn the new A, B, Cs from him, no more B for Ball, C for Cat, chill out, it’s time for Banta’s A, B, Cs! It’s not that hard to memorize them- An apple just makes its way for another apple and the chain goes on. Imagine the teacher’s expression after hearing Banta’s A, B, C…..Hats off to Banta!!

Hello everybody,

I was wondering what will happen to Santa Singh if he gets married? Will he say to his friends “Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.” after he gets married. No maybe Santa Singh isn’t as smart as that.

And after marriage. What will happen to the couple? Will they be as happy as they were before?

Here is a joke for women to enjoy:

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.He wanted her to see what he went through so he prays:

Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.
Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.

Read on more here to see what happens to the man.

BTW this joke was also voted for the Women’s Favorite E-mail of the Year! .

But wait a minute what about the men? Dont worry. There are jokes about women for men too:

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.

The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

Read on more here to see what happens to the women.

And here are some really funny one liners about marriage:

• A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, “If you don’t promise to send us 100,000,000 we promise you we will kidnap your wife.” The poor man wrote back, ” I am afraid I can’t keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours.”




• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.




• I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
  I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
  Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack

For more marriage jokes.Click here to laugh.

Now that we all have laughed over the tragedy of Mr. Bachelor’s surrender to marriage, let me introduce you to the bride who’s eagerly waiting for the man of her dreams!! Oh, she’s been sooooo darn lonely all her life. The truth is that she’s waiting for her fairy tale ending. ONLY TRUE LOVE CAN TURN HER TO A LOVELY PRINCESS. Aren’t you thinking of being her bridegroom-to-be?

But it’s true, Patience is the key! Look whom has she found as her perfect soulmate…

Yup, Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s Mr. BEAn Laden; you won’t believe how incredibly lovely she has become after finding her true love!!

Don’t you want to check her out now? See how amazing she looks after meeting the man of her dreams. She has totally transformed. Go here.

Wow, don’t they look as if they’re MFEO (Made For Each Other)! Now that’s what I call a Happy Ending, and you thought it only existed in fairy tales??

And you thought that Abhi-Ash or Brangelina were the best couple around?

After seeing Mr. and Mrs. Bean Laden, I’m sure you all are delighted to know about their true Happily Ever-After story. So if you were to choose between Abhi-Ash, Brangelina and Mr. and Mrs. Bean Laden, whom would you vote for?

Please vote for Mr. and Mrs. Bean, you can win free invitations to their grand Marriage Reception! Yeah,VOTE FOR BEANS!!

Take a look at the best couple again and keep voting for them: