Children and Kids Jokes





Who, me?



Teacher: Johnny, name two pronouns.

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Johnny: Who, me?

Teacher: Very good!

Comments(20)| |

Ye Toh Girls Hostel Hai



Child : Mom isbar hum sare patake is shop se lenge.

Cracker

Mom : lekin beta ye toh girls hostel hai.
Child : Papa to kehte hai ki sari phuljadiya yahi raheti hai.

Comments(13)| |

Not going to have babies



A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

“That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?”

“Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”
“How about transportation?” the father asked.

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“I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,” the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.”

“We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied.

“We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!”

Comments(62)| |

Afraid of the Dark



A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “God is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there?”

God

Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “God? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”

Comments(8)| |

If he went to hell…



A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

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The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”

Comments(6)| |

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