Children and Kids Jokes





Not going to have babies



A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

“That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?”

“Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”
“How about transportation?” the father asked.

eggs.jpg

“I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,” the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.”

“We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied.

“We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!”

Comments(62)| |

It’s Time



Even though he could not tell time, my three-year-old grandson was playing with a wall clock when I visited.

Baby with a clock

Later, when I was putting on my coat to leave, I asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, then brightened.

“It’s time for you to go,” he answered triumphantly.

Comments(5)| |

If he went to hell…



A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

stub.jpg

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”

Comments(6)| |

Formula for Water



TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO” !!

teachvsstd.jpg

TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !

Comments(7)| |

Every Woman’s Dream



A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit; she instructed her son – to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.

After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy’s phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.

Telephone

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from site, immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap, while the man was trying to ask why?

She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.

The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called,
Junior said “the number u are trying to call is not reachable“.

Comments(6)| |

Pages (9): [1] 2 3 4 » ... Last »

Receive the best jokes...

Tired of all those crappy, "not so funny" old jokes?

We have gone through thousands of jokes and selected only the funniest ones which will definitely make you laugh your ass off.

Simply fill and submit the form below and receive the hilarious jokes every week in your email:

Name:
Email:

? >