School and College Jokes




Modern students



Teacher: U idiots! At your age Einstein ranked first in class.
What about you?

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Student: Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide..!
What about you?

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Before u date my daughter, fill this up



A father mentions the terms and conditions before anyone dates his daughter!

Answer the following freely and completely honestly. All Answers are Confidential (that means I will not tell anyone –ever — really! I promise! )

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How to get into heaven



I asked the children in my Sunday School class, “If I sold my house and my car, held a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?”

“No!” the children all answered.

Then I said, “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?”

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Again, the answer was, “No!”

“Well,” I continued, “Then how can I get to heaven?”

A five-year-old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead!”

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Punctuation Is Powerful



An English professor wrote the words:

“A woman without her man is nothing”

on the blackboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly..

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All of the males in the class wrote:

“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”

All the females in the class wrote:

“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”

Punctuation is powerful!!

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Hobbies



Once a teacher was asking the students about their hobbies.

Teacher to boy1: What is your hobby?

Boy1: My hobby is to watch bubbles while taking bath.

Teacher to Boy2: What is your hobby?

Boy2: My hobby is to watch bubbles while taking bath.

Teacher to Boy3: What is your hobby?

Boy3: My hobby is to watch bubbles while taking bath.
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Teacher called a girl this time and asked…

Teacher:What is your name?

Girl: My name is ‘Bubbles’

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