School and College Jokes




Kids and teachers hate me…



Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.

Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!

sleeping

But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.

Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.

Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’

Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.

Give me two reasons why I should go to school.

Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!

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Birthday Present



Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?

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Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

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Who discovered America?



TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.

PAPPU : Here it is!

America

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS : PAPPU!

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Biggest lie



Two girls were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says,“Why are you arguing?”

teacher

One girl answers, “We found a ten dollar and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher,”When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The girls gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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How to get into heaven



I asked the children in my Sunday School class, “If I sold my house and my car, held a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?”

“No!” the children all answered.

Then I said, “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?”

heaven.jpg

Again, the answer was, “No!”

“Well,” I continued, “Then how can I get to heaven?”

A five-year-old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead!”

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