School and College Jokes





As worse as it gets!!



A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

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I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call me when it is safe for me to come home!

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Who discovered America?



TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.

PAPPU : Here it is!

America

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS : PAPPU!

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Times have changed



Trying to explain to a five-year-old daughter how much computers had changed, a father pointed to the brand-new personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.

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Wide-eyed, the daughter asked, “How big was the mouse?”

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Expelled for poor eye-sight



A middle aged man was walking down the street. He saw a business acquaintance looking downcast.
“Jim, is everything okay?” he asked.

“No, it’s not. My son was expelled from college because his poor eyesight.”

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The man was shocked, and replied “How could they expel your son for his eyesight?”

Jim answered, “He mistook the dean of women for one of the co-eds.”

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And he walked everywhere he went



A young man comes home and says “Dad, I just got my driver’s license and so would like to use the family car.”

Father replies, :”O.K, son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we’ll see.”

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Well, several months passed and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. “Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I’ve been keeping my room neat and the yard is always clean. How about letting me use the car?”

Father replies, “That’s all true, but son you didn’t cut your hair.”

Son says, “But, dad, Jesus too had long hair.”

Father replies, “Yes, son, you’re perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went.”

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