Jokes Duniya

Trying to explain to a five-year-old daughter how much computers had changed, a father pointed to the brand-new personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.

Wide-eyed, the daughter asked, “How big was the mouse?”

Here are the 10 fun things to do in a final exam. But beware, you’d have to be ready for the consequences too!!

1. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

2. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor’s left nostril.

3. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: “I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs.” Be creative.
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Guy 1: “How’s your history paper coming?”

Guy 2: “Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it’s been very helpful.

Guy 1: “Really?”

Guy 2: “Yes! I’ve already located 17 people who sell them!”

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.

The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds.

He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic.

He asks the girl: “Do you like spinach?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like spinach?”

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”

Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”

“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”