School and College Jokes




Biggest lie



Two girls were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says,“Why are you arguing?”

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One girl answers, “We found a ten dollar and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher,”When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The girls gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

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Before u date my daughter, fill this up



A father mentions the terms and conditions before anyone dates his daughter!

Answer the following freely and completely honestly. All Answers are Confidential (that means I will not tell anyone –ever — really! I promise! )

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When is there time to study?



It is no fault of the student because a year has only 365 days.

Days in a year = 365 days

Sundays = 52 days (Sundays are meant for rest)
Days left = 313 days

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Summer Vacations = 60 days (Weather is very hot, so it is difficult to study)
Days left = 253 days

Eight hours of daily sleep = 122 days (Necessary)
Days left = 131 days

One hour daily for play = 15 days (It’s good for health)
Days left = 116 days

Two hours for daily food = 30 days (Chew the food properly, don’t care for time)
Days left = 86 days

Examination days in a year = 30 days (Giving exams is necessary)
Days left = 56 days

Winter vacations = 25 days (Weather is cold, it’s difficult to study)
Days left = 31 days

Other holidays = 20 days (These holidays are to enjoy)
Days left = 11 days

Illness at least once a year = 8 days (Because of illness, study is difficult)
Days left = 3 days

Result days = 3 days (Going and taking result is necessary)
Days left = 0 days

So tell me when is there time to study?!

Comments(9)| |

T.V mathmatics



Maths teacher asks a boy what are 2,4,10,17.
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The boy replies they are HBO, ZOOM, SONY and POGO.

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What is his occupation?



A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”

Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”

“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

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Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”

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