School and College Jokes




Birthday Present



Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?

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Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

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Dictionary



Teacher asked to a student, ” How do you spell the word CAT?

The student replied, “K.A.T.”

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Teacher told then, “But dictionary spells CAT.”

The student replied again, “I know that, but you told how do I spell.”

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Subjects for a date



A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.

The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”

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The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds.

He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic.

He asks the girl: “Do you like spinach?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like spinach?”

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Essay on milk



Nutrition class teacher given home work to write 3 pages essay on milk. Next day all children bring the home work.

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One boy written only one page. Then teacher asked him why he has written only one page.

The boy replied, “Teacher I have written about condensed milk.”

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Three english words



Ek teacher ne class ke students ko english ke 3 word likh ke lane ko kaha. Toh ek student apne ghar jaake mummy se poochta hai ke mujhe english ke 3 words bolo.

Toh mummy use bolti hai Shutup!

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Thode der ke baad uski mummy use manane aati hai aur bolti hai “I am sorry.”

Kuch der ke baad uske papa ka phone aata hai toh uske papa uski mummy se bolte hai, “Chalo aaj hotel mein khana khate hai.” Toh uski mummy bolti hai, “Aaj nahi darling kal jaayenge”.

Yeh sare word “Shutup, Sorry aur Aaj nahi darling kal jaayenge” woh apne note book mein likh leta hai.

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Doosre din uski teacher usse english ke 3 words poochti hai toh woh bolta hai Shutup!

Uski teacher usko dat ti hai toh woh bolta hai “Sorry” phir bolti hai chalo principal ke paas chalte hain toh woh bolta hai “Aaj nahi darling kal jaayenge”

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