Jokes Duniya

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the dancer from my bachelor party, oh my god, I know I was drunk that night, but you got pregnant too!!Please don’t tell my wife, she’ll kill me!

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”

A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00.”

The guy asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?”

“That’s obvious,” the assistant states, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…..”

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license, they’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any
cyanide!”

Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, you didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.

God comes and says, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.”

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God got mad and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created, you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only, one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

And the man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Husband 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Ladies Night 1.0, Celebrity 5.0, Cool Boys 7.5, and Shopping 3.6.

I can’t seem to keep Husband 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Boyfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Husband 1.0. Please help!

Thanks, Troubled User