Jokes Duniya

New married bride to new husband: “When we get to the motel, lets act like we have been married for years.”

New Husband, “Alright, you carry the bags.”

Men want 3 qualities in wives:

Economist in kitchen,
artist in home & devil in bed.

But they get artist in kitchen,
devil in home & economist in Bed.

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known “Happy going marriage”.

Editor: “Sir. It’s amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?”

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: “We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse’s back and said “This is your first time “.
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A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin?“

His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh! no,” says Dave.

“He’s on my bowling team.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,”How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”

“She’s in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”

Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”

One couple is discussing about their past, present and future.

The husband asks his wife: “If I die, with whom you will stay?”

Wife replied with sad mood: “With my sister”.

Then Wife also asked to Husband: “With whom you will stay if I died?”

Husband replied: “I will stay with your sister too.”