Jokes Duniya

For those of you who don’t already know, these are the rules that are in effect
in every relationship.

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which
was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.

7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing
the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the
female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be
angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants
him to be calm, angry or upset.

13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.

14. The female always gets the last word!

Before Marriage - - - (must read)

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you hug me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you beat me up?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top.

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A cell phone on a bench close by begins to ring with a deafening and highly irritating Rap Tune. Someone screams, “Turn that thing off before I throw it in the shower room!”

The man nearest to the phone reaches over. He engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello?”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes, I am.”
Continue Reading »

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the dancer from my bachelor party, oh my god, I know I was drunk that night, but you got pregnant too!!Please don’t tell my wife, she’ll kill me!

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”

A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop assistant.

In a manner she responds, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $395.00.”

The guy asks, “Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?”

“That’s obvious,” the assistant states, “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…..”