Marriage, Anniversary and Wedding Jokes



My wife is missing



A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?

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Why?”, asked the girl.

Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”


Must Read Before You Get Married



Before Marriage – - – (must read)

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Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you hug me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you beat me up?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

After marriage – - – simply read from bottom to top.


Tricky Conversation



Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?

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Dad: That happens in most countries, son.


Before it starts…



Santa Singh comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, ‘Get me a beer before it starts.’

The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, ‘Get me another beer before it starts.’

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, ‘Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.’

Going to start

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Dinner Party



A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests.

The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails.

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Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he ran into a couple of old friends and began to yuck it up and he soon forgot about his wife’s party.

It was well past 10 when he remembered. “Oh no!!! My wife’s dinner party!!!”

He grabbed his bucket, and ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he’s been all this time.

He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, “Come on guys, we’re almost there!!”

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