Jokes Duniya

My Dearest Susan,

Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.

Yours always and truly,
John

P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

Jaggu was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
garage that goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!“

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

A kleptomaniac ( someone who likes to steal) woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket and had to appear in court, taking along her long-suffering husband for marital support.

The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her that, considering her record, he was forced to impose a jail term.

“This time you stole a can of tomatoes. Let us suppose that there were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?”
The woman agreed.

“Then I sentence you to six nights in jail.”

The husband jumped to his feet, addressing the judge, “Your honor, may I approach the bench?”

“Well,” said his honor, this is somewhat unusual but I will make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench.”

The husband wasted no time getting there and, leaning forward, he whispered, “She also stole a can of peas.”

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but who are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a totally booked transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly. He in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At around 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, “Ma’am. I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”

“I have a better idea”, she replied. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”

“Wow, that’s a great idea!”, he exclaimed.
“Good”, she replied. “Get your own damned blanket!”
After a moment of silence, he farted.

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?”, asked the girl.

“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”