Jokes Duniya

HARD-DISK woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

INTERNET woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER woman:
Always busy when you need her.

CD-ROM woman:
She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman:
Also called “wife”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t you will lose everything!!

Okay , here is the full thing of the ” If microsoft made cars” joke..
Enjoy…

If Microsoft made cars…

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating (by Mr Welch himself, The GM CEO): If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:

• For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
• Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
  buy a new car.
• Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason,
  and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
• Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
  your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
  have to reinstall the engine.
• Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
  “Car95″ or “CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
• Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
  five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run
  on five per cent of the roads.
• The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
  replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.

• New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.



• The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.

• Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
  and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
  door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

• GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
  Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
  neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
  would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or
  more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
  Justice Department.

• Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn
  how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
  operate in the same manner as the old car.

• You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table
and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (The woodcutter and the Axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.

The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
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There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.

When asked to define great he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger”.

We are happy to report that the young man achieved his lofty goal. He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.