Jokes Duniya

Okay , here is the full thing of the ” If microsoft made cars” joke..
Enjoy…

If Microsoft made cars…

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating (by Mr Welch himself, The GM CEO): If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:

• For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
• Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
  buy a new car.
• Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason,
  and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
• Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
  your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
  have to reinstall the engine.
• Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
  “Car95″ or “CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
• Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
  five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run
  on five per cent of the roads.
• The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
  replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.

• New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.



• The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.

• Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
  and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
  door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

• GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
  Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
  neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
  would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or
  more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
  Justice Department.

• Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn
  how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
  operate in the same manner as the old car.

• You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.

All of a sudden, she’s typing in a different font.

She starts ending each sentence with only 1 exclamation mark instead of the usual 3!!!

She tells you that she’s been working a lot.

And….

During an intimate moment in a chat room, she reveals herself to be GRANDMA!!

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.