Jokes Duniya

Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle in the surf.

He pulls out the cork and a Genie appears. The Genie says, “I have been trapped for 100 years. As a reward you can make a wish.”

Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage. Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East. This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years. What I wish for is peace in the Middle East.

The Genie replies, “I don’t know I can do a lot, but this? Don’t you have another wish?”

Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK. The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes. I wish you would make everybody love us.

The Genie says, Let me see that map again.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.

When asked to define great he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger”.

We are happy to report that the young man achieved his lofty goal. He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table
and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (The woodcutter and the Axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.

The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
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Here is a interview given by our Banta for the job in java office…

Interviewer: What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
Banta: Terms are different … nothing more

Interviewer: What is JFC ?
Banta: Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Interviewer: Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
Banta: Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will
have 3 tyres.

Interviewer: I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which
methodology will follow?
Banta: Send it through courier.

Interviewer: Can I modify an object in CORBA?
Banta: As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Interviewer: How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
Banta: Sorry, Non living things can’t communicate.

Interviewer: Explain RMI Architecture?
Banta: I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Interviewer: What is the use of Servlets ?
Banta: In hotels, they can replace servers.

Interviewer: What is the difference between Process and Threads?
Banta: Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for
process.

Interviewer: What is JAR file ?
Banta: File that can be kept inside a jar.

Interviewer: What is JINI?
Banta: A ghost which was Aladdin’s friend.

Interviewer: How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
Banta: I will give invitation.

Interviewer: What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
Banta: A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Interviewer: Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
Banta: When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document but the computer won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support : “What does it say?”

Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”