Jokes Duniya


Father of One of My Kids



A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the dancer from my bachelor party, oh my god, I know I was drunk that night, but you got pregnant too!!Please don’t tell my wife, she’ll kill me!

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She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”

Comments(1)| |




Where is my head???




If microsoft made cars



Okay , here is the full thing of the ” If microsoft made cars” joke..
Enjoy…

If Microsoft made cars…

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating (by Mr Welch himself, The GM CEO): If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:

microsoftlogo.jpg

  • For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
  • Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
    buy a new car.
  • Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason,
    and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
  • Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
    your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
    have to reinstall the engine.
  • Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
    “Car95″ or “CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
  • Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
    five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run
    on five per cent of the roads.
  • The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
    replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.

  • New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

  • ugly-car.JPG

  • The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.

  • Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
    and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
    door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

  • GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
    Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
    neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
    would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or
    more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
    Justice Department.

  • Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn
    how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
    operate in the same manner as the old car.

  • You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.

Comments(0)| |




Everyone wants to buy it



Gary was traveling down a quiet country road when he noticed a large group of people standing around outside a house. He stopped and asked a farmer why such a large crowd was gathered.

The farmer replied,” Billy Bob’s mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.”

ffdfd.jpg

“I see,” Gary said. “Well, she must have had a lot of friends.”

“Naw,” the farmer said, “we just all want to buy his mule.”

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Talking dog for sale



This guy sees a sign in front of a house “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.

“You talk?”
he asks.

“Yep,” the mutt replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The mutt looks up and says, “Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

secritritydog.jpg

I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.
Continue Reading »

Comments(3)| |



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