Best Business and Office Jokes




Secret of success



A very successful partner in a big firm had a peculiar habit. He would go to his desk everyday, open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. This continued for many days.

His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity.

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Then, one day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break.

They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside – it said – “Left is debit and right is credit.”

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What is his occupation?



A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”

Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”

“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

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Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”

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Read between the lines



What these words on yearly performance reviews really mean:

OUTGOING PERSONALITY – Always going out of the office

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Spends lots of time on phone

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ACTIVE SOCIALLY – Drinks a lot

INDEPENDENT WORKER – Nobody knows what he/she does

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY – Too ugly to get a date

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS – Gets someone else to do it

HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES – Is tall or has a louder voice

EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT – Lucky

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CAREER MINDED – Back stabber

LOYAL – Can’t get a job anywhere else

OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION – Gets to work on time

EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL – Speaks English

RELAXED ATTITUDE – Sleeps at desk

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M.P.



Officer: What Is Your Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Tell Me Properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Father’s Name?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal Sir

Officer: Your Native Place
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: Is It Madhya Pradesh?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal Sir

Officer: What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: (angrily) What Is It?
Candidate: Metric Pass

Officer: Why Do You Need A Job?
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: And What Does That Mean?
Candidate: Money Problem Sir

Officer: Describe Your Personality
Candidate: M P. Sir

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Officer: Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate: Magnanimous Personality Sir

Officer: This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now.
Candidate: M P. Sir

Officer: What Is It Now
Candidate: My Performance. ..?

Officer: M.P!!!
Candidate: What Is That Sir?

Officer: Mental Problems

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Increase my salary



One employee told his boss, “Sir, Increase my salary, I got married recently.”

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The boss replied, “The Company cannot compensate for the accidents happened outside of the company.”

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