Best Business and Office Jokes




Heavy letter



Post Master in a post office told to a woman,”You have to put another stamp on this letter as it is too heavy.

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The woman replied, “How would an extra stamp make it lighter.”

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Read between the lines



What these words on yearly performance reviews really mean:

OUTGOING PERSONALITY – Always going out of the office

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Spends lots of time on phone

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ACTIVE SOCIALLY – Drinks a lot

INDEPENDENT WORKER – Nobody knows what he/she does

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY – Too ugly to get a date

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS – Gets someone else to do it

HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES – Is tall or has a louder voice

EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT – Lucky

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CAREER MINDED – Back stabber

LOYAL – Can’t get a job anywhere else

OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION – Gets to work on time

EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL – Speaks English

RELAXED ATTITUDE – Sleeps at desk

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Letter of School Master!



A School Master from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai.

He reported for duty two days after the actual date of joining. Consequently he was asked for an explanation in writing…
Letter
Continue Reading »

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Quotes converted…



Original Quote:

If you love someone,
Set her free…
If she comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, she never was….

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Pessimist:

If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she ever comes back, she’s yours,
If she doesn’t, as expected, she never was

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
Don’t worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free …..
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free …
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat.

Psychologist:
If you love someone
Set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn’t come back her id is supreme
If she doesn’t go, she must be crazy.

Biologist:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She’ll evolve.

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Factory Workers



In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.

Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men?
Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?

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“Not at all, Ma’am,” the manager replied.

“It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.”

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