Best Business and Office Jokes





What is his occupation?



A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”

Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”

“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

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Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”

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Who are you talking to?



A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?

“No” replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!”

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The trainee shouted back: “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?”

“No!” replied the Managing Director angrily.

“Thank God!” replied the trainee and kept the phone down…..

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Factory Workers



In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.

Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, “Why is it you limit your employees to married men?
Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?

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“Not at all, Ma’am,” the manager replied.

“It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them.”

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Reasons to allow drinking at work



The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.

1. It’s an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

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5. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

6. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

7. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

8. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

9. If someone does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.

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The Different Moods



The different moods

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