Best Business and Office Jokes





I don’t have email id



A man went to several places to get one job in America. Once he got an interview card from Microsoft Office. He attended the interview and qualified for the post of the “Office Boy”. Then Microsoft Office people told him “Give us your email ID, we will send you “Appointment Letter”.

The man told I have no email ID. Microsoft Office people told “How funny, now-a-days is there any man without email ID?” Sorry we can not give appointment to a back dated man.”

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Long Back..



Long back,
A person who sacrificed his sleep,
forgot his family,
forgot his food,
forgot laughter were called “SAINTS”

But now they are called….
….
….
..
..
..
.

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.
.
.

“IT professionals/ Logistics Professionals”

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IT husband



Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer.

Husband: (Returning late from work) “Good Evening Dear, I’m now logged in.”

Wife: Have you brought the grocery?

Husband: Bad command or file name.

Wife: But I told you in the morning

Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort?

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Wife: What about my new TV?

Husband: Variable not found…

Wife: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.

Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied…

Wife: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?

Husband: Too many parameters…

Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.

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Husband: Data type mismatch.

Wife: You are useless.

Husband:
It’s by Default.

Wife: What about your Salary?

Husband: File in use… Try after some time.

Wife: What is my value in the family.

Husband: Unknown Virus.

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Airline new business plans



In light of all the recent news surrounding airline bankruptcies and mergers, you might want to heed these warning signs…

10. They hedged their fuel by buying $500 in Sam’s Club Fuel Cards.

9. The new sign in the terminal reads “BYOB” Bring Your Own Blankets.

8. The Flight Attendant asks if she can borrow your iPod touch to plug in to the video unit so they can have an in flight movie.

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7. You look into the cockpit and noticed that the pilots are those blow up dummies from the movie “Airplane”.

6. There are Google Ads running on the back of all the seats.

5. Last 5 People Off the Plane Have to Clean Up.

4. In order to pay for extra fuel the dreaded “$1 for every pound you’re over 200 pounds” tax has been added to all tickets

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3. All flights now will offer in air casinos.

2. The stock’s price on the screen says “Close to Zero”.

1. Good News…free drinks. Bad News……$5 for toilets!

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Marketting Lessons more…



Marketting strategies explained more!!

1. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her,
pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and
then say:”By the way, I’m rich. Will you
“Marry Me?” – That’s Public Relations… “

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2. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:”You are very rich!
“Can you marry ! me?” – That’s Brand Recognition. ..”

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. – “That’s Customer Feedback…”

4. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she
introduces you to her husband. – “That’s demand and supply gap…”

5. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she
goes with him – “That’s competition eating into your market share…”

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your
wife arrives. – “That’s restriction for entering new markets…”

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