Best Business and Office Jokes




Why is the driver scared?



A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”

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The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years…..

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Airline new business plans



In light of all the recent news surrounding airline bankruptcies and mergers, you might want to heed these warning signs…

10. They hedged their fuel by buying $500 in Sam’s Club Fuel Cards.

9. The new sign in the terminal reads “BYOB” Bring Your Own Blankets.

8. The Flight Attendant asks if she can borrow your iPod touch to plug in to the video unit so they can have an in flight movie.

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7. You look into the cockpit and noticed that the pilots are those blow up dummies from the movie “Airplane”.

6. There are Google Ads running on the back of all the seats.

5. Last 5 People Off the Plane Have to Clean Up.

4. In order to pay for extra fuel the dreaded “$1 for every pound you’re over 200 pounds” tax has been added to all tickets

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3. All flights now will offer in air casinos.

2. The stock’s price on the screen says “Close to Zero”.

1. Good News…free drinks. Bad News……$5 for toilets!

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Job application



This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a Mcdonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida… And they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

Name: John Flower

Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

Desired position: Company’s president or vice president. But seriously, whatever available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

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Desired salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a michael ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

Education: yes.

Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.

Salary: Less than I’m worth.
Continue Reading »

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Who are you talking to?



A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?

“No” replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!”

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The trainee shouted back: “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?”

“No!” replied the Managing Director angrily.

“Thank God!” replied the trainee and kept the phone down…..

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What is his occupation?



A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”

Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”

“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

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Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”

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