Funny and Hilarious Jokes





Be a millionarie



Two cops were at a far police station and while they were resting there a man comes to them and says “The terrorist killed my child and wife. I would give 50 lakhs to the person who may cut the terrorist head and give it to me.”

The two cops hear this and they go for the terrorist head. Soon they find a terrorist and they start to cut his head.

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But as they are cutting his head 50 terrorists comes there with guns and look angrily at the cops. But the cops start dancing and say:
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“WE ARE GOING TO BE MILLIONAIRES!!!!!!!!!”

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A veterinary doctor in India



Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India and said,“Doctor I am on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.”

Doctor : I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.

Veterinary doctor

Man : No, Doctor, I have come to you only.

Doctor : But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man : I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only…

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At the US Embassy



An Arabian was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.

Consul : What is your name?
Arab : Abdul Aziz

Consul : Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week

councilor

Consul : I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels

Consul : Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!

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Bad conductor



A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.

He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there’s a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it’s Texas he’s sent to the electric chair.

On the day of his execution he’s sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

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“Well” says the man, “Is that your packed lunch over there?” “Yes” answers the executioner. “Can I have that green banana?”
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Dumb kid



A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other,

then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

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“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!”

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