Funny and Hilarious Jokes





Valentine gift



Jim asked his friend, Tony whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day.

“Yes,” came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, “I’ve bought her a belt and a bag.”

vacum.jpg

“That was very kind of you,” Jim added, “I hope she appreciated the thought.”

Tony smiled as he replied, “So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.”

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Modern Heights..



1. What is height of Fashion?

- Dhoti with a zip .

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2. What is height of Secrecy?

- Offering blank visiting cards.

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3. What is height of Active laziness?

- Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

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4. What is height of Craziness?

- Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

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Kitne admi they?



Gabbar : Kitne admi they?
Sambha : Sardar 2

Gabbar : Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba : Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai

Robber

Gabbar : Aur 2 ke pehle?
Samba : 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.

Gabbar : To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba : Beech mein koi nahi aata

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Does your dog bites



A man was sitting near a dog. Another man appeared there and asked the first man Does your dog bites?

Man: No

dog.jpg

The second man sits and the dog bites him!

Second man angrily: “You said it does not bites!”

Man: “This is not my dog.”

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Bad conductor



A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.

He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there’s a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it’s Texas he’s sent to the electric chair.

On the day of his execution he’s sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

ticketcollector.jpg

“Well” says the man, “Is that your packed lunch over there?” “Yes” answers the executioner. “Can I have that green banana?”
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