Funny and Hilarious Jokes





Wrong Flowers



A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,…. “Rest in Peace.”

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

cards.jpg

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,

“Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,… ‘Congratulations on your new location!’”

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A Wet Whisper!



A mother took her little boy to church.

While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.”

The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”

Church

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have to whisper.

The father looked at him and said, “Okay, just whisper in my ear.”

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A great actor



There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theater where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, “this is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line “ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.”

Actor

The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he was practicing his line over and over again.

Continue Reading »

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Modernization



Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai.

girl

Girl of 2007 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai. :)

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Psychiatric



The health minister is visiting a psychiatric ward. He asks the head of psychology, “How do you determine if a patient is cured.”

The psychologist explains:

“We take them to the bathtub, which is filled with water, hand them a spoon and a cup and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

psychiatric.jpg

“I see,” says the health minister, “The cured person would choose the cup because it`s bigger, and would empty the tub faster.”

“Actually no,”
replies the psychologist, “A normal person would simply pull the plug.”

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