Funny and Hilarious Jokes

Three patients

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.


Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

“Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”

Comments(2)| |

Bihari lecturer

A new Bihari lecturer was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him.

So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he didn’t know how to put it in English…


He went near the guy. Shouted “follow me”. The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted “Don’t follow me” and went inside the class…

Comments(55)| |

Worried about relationship

Two school girls were talking in school break.

Girl 1: You seem worried today. what’s the matter?

Girl 2: Ya! As my mom’s gonna marry again soon.

Girl 1: What’s that bothering you, new relationship or new father?

Girl 2: New father! hes a famous man. I wonder how would he treat me?


Girl 1: Who’s he?

Girl 2: Mr. Baig! The famous film maker.

Girl 1: Don’t you worry then at all! Hes a nice chap.

Girl 2: How can you say that?

Girl 1: He was my father last month!

Comments(0)| |

You are not Getting Older

A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party.

So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.

Birthday cake

Well he thinks for a while and says: let’s put, “you are not getting older you are getting better”.

The salesman asks “how do you want me to put it?”

Continue Reading »

Comments(26)| |

Valentine gift

Jim asked his friend, Tony whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day.

“Yes,” came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, “I’ve bought her a belt and a bag.”


“That was very kind of you,” Jim added, “I hope she appreciated the thought.”

Tony smiled as he replied, “So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.”

Comments(0)| |

Pages (49): [1] 2 3 4 » ... Last »

Receive the best jokes...

Tired of all those crappy, "not so funny" old jokes?

We have gone through thousands of jokes and selected only the funniest ones which will definitely make you laugh your ass off.

Simply fill and submit the form below and receive the hilarious jokes every week in your email:


? >