Funny and Hilarious Jokes

When is the marriage

Once a friend telling to his another friend, “You know me and my girlfriend is going to marry soon”


His friend became happy and told, “That’s good,when you will marry?”

The friend replied, “She will marry on 30th May, 2009 and I will on 6th June.”

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Don’t believe in genie

A couple was golfing one day on a Very Exclusive golf course lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee, the husband said, “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball, do not knock out any windows. It will cost us a fortune to fix.”

The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course.

The husband cringed and said, “I told you to watch out for the houses. All right, let’s go up there, apologize and see how much it’s going to cost us.”


They walked up and knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, “Come on in.”

When they opened the door they saw glass all over the place and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, “Are you the people that broke the window?”

“Uh yeah, sorry about that”
the husband replied.

“No, actually I want to thank you. I am a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You have released me. I am allowed to grant three wishes – I will give you each one wish, and I will keep the last one for myself.” the genie said.

“OK” the husband said. “I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.”

“No problem-it is the least I can do. And you, what do you want?” the genie said looking at the wife.


“I want a house in every country of the world” she said.

“Consider it done.” the genie said.

“And what is your wish, genie?”
the husband said, “Well, since I have not had love with a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife.”

The husband looks at the wife and said, “Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I would not mind.”

The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was all over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife and said, “How old is your husband anyway?”

“35″ she said.

“Really? And he still believes in genies !!!!!!!!!

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Open the door

Two friends were talking by sitting road side.

Suddenly they saw a man came from his car and open it’s door for his wife.


Then one friend told to other, “If a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife.”

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Wrong Flowers

A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,…. “Rest in Peace.”

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.


After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,

“Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,… ‘Congratulations on your new location!’”

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Where is pa

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.

The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.”

“Aw come on boy,” the farmer insisted.


“Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “but Pa won’t like it.”

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. “I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset.”

“Don’t be foolish!” the neighbor said with a smile. “By the way, where is he?”

“Under the wagon.”
the boy replied!

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