Jokes Duniya

A Gujju having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God.

God happy with his prays, grants him a wish but its only one wish!

Gujju thinks about his wish and says, “I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child’s hands in our new mansion!“

Here’s the simplified version of Chinese language. A lot of things make sense here. Do check it out and try to understand them:

Wai U Shao Ting — There is no reason to raise your voice.

Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift

Dum Gai - A stupid person

Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese invention

Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?

Kum Hia - Approach me

Shai Gai - A self-conscious person

Wan Bum Lung - A person with T.B.

Wai So Dim - Are you trying to save electricity?

Tai Ne Po Ne - A small horse,
Tai Ne Bae Be - A premature infant

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

The health minister is visiting a psychiatric ward. He asks the head of psychology, “How do you determine if a patient is cured.”

The psychologist explains:

“We take them to the bathtub, which is filled with water, hand them a spoon and a cup and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

“I see,” says the health minister, “The cured person would choose the cup because it`s bigger, and would empty the tub faster.”

“Actually no,” replies the psychologist, “A normal person would simply pull the plug.”

This case happened in a hospital’s Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves
what the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil……..
Just when the Clock struck 11…

And then……

then…..

then……..

Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum cleaner.