Funny and Hilarious Jokes





Valentine for Osama



A little boy comes home from first grade and tells his father that he learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “As Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” he asks, “Will God get angry at me for giving someone a valentine?”

The father thinks for a moment and then says, “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”

“Osama Bin Laden,” the boy says.

valentine-day.jpg

“Why Osama ,” his father asks in disbelief.

“Well,” David says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he’d jump with joy. And then he’d go all over and tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”

Father’s heart swells and he looks at his son with new found pride and joy.

marine.jpg

“David, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I know,” David says, “And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him.”

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To Celebrate His Wife Leaving



A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

“There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened up further.

Police chase

The needle hit 90, 100…..Then the reality of the situation hit him.

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Samne tha Bus Stop



A policeman caught a Pathan driver stopping the bus at the road and began asking questions:

Policeman: “Tumne bich road pe bus Kyun rok di?”

bus-stop.jpg

Pathan: Hum seher mein naya aaya hai magar Kanoon nahi torta! Woh samne dekho likha hai “Bus Stop” Toh humne rok diya :p

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Ching chou, mou cho???



A chini (a chinese) was in hospital.

man in bed

An indian went to meet him, Chini said, “ching chou, mou cho” & died.

Indian went to china to know the meaning,it was “kutte oxygen ke pipe se per utha.”

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Only for hot guys and girls…



If you are HOT… then scroll down to enjoy…
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