Jokes Duniya

Ever wondered what microsoft would look like if it built a car ?
Hm..
It will of course have windows. A lot of high tech windows.And here are 2 things that I am pretty sure that microsoft will implement.

• The airbag system would say, “Are you sure?” before going off.
• To turn of the engine the driver would have to first press the start button !

 
Ah, that was funny. But we all know that technology and computers have grown to such an extent that it has almost overpowered human beings. I am not implying that it is a bad thing. But at least we can have laugh about how we are changin each day.

Take a look at these pictures to see how much daily lives have been changed:

This week we will be posting a lot more jokes like these about computers, computer companies, and other technology related stuffs.

You can get them right now here.

Okay now what if restaurants functioned like Microsoft.
Here is a possible scenario.

Guest : Waiter!

Waiter ( arrives) :

Hi, my name is Bill and I’ll be your Support. May I have your telephone number, area code first before you say anything else? Your visit may be monitored for purposes of quality control. Now, what seems to be the problem?

Guest : There’s a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Exit the restaurant and re-enter, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.

Guest: No, it’s still there.

Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Guest: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Guest: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Guest: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Guest: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Guest: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Guest: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Guest: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I’m running late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Guest: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet.

Guest: Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything.

[Waiter leaves.]

Guest: Waiter! There’s a cockroach in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . $ 5.00

Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . $ 2.50

Access to support . . . . . . . . . . $10.00

Note: Bug in the soup included at no extra charge

(will be fixed with Tomorrow’s soup of the day)

Click here for more funny computer stuffs like these.

Some pictures speak louder than words.

Don’t believe me. These pictures speak up everything about the advantages of bachelorhood. See it for yourself.

Morning : If you do not prepare Breakfast then,
Taaapaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

Evening : If you talk with girls.
Dishuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm….

Night: If you Deny to take her to Restaurant.

Pataaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

Its Better to be Bachelor ….
“Meine Shaadi kyon kiii ???”

But dear bachelors! never give up, you can always sustain your bachelorhood like the frog in this picture. Never say die!

Even if you did end up with your family pressurizing you for marriage, hope your wife wouldn’t look like this:

See our local spiderman after he got married. He’s said to have been caught by JJJDD (Jitendra’s Jumping Jack Dancing Disease)! So if you DO intend to get married, make sure you DO know what are you going to do?!! Check out what happened to our local spiderman here.

There are more meaningful funny pictures in store. Hope you get the stories behind every pictures! Click here to see more.

Would you like to go back to nursery again and learn a whole new set of A,B,C,…? Learning can be so much funnnn when you have a friend like Banta in class. He’s invented a whole new nomenclature of A for Apple. Make sure you memorize this new list!!

Banta in classroom – Madam maine “abc” yaad karli..
Madam - Ok , to sunao..

Banta – abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam – Arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple

Banta – Ok Madam…. A for apple.

B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.

H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple

V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur………..

So, let’s go to Banta and learn the new A, B, Cs from him, no more B for Ball, C for Cat, chill out, it’s time for Banta’s A, B, Cs! It’s not that hard to memorize them- An apple just makes its way for another apple and the chain goes on. Imagine the teacher’s expression after hearing Banta’s A, B, C…..Hats off to Banta!!

Sardar jokes are so old and so many in number that it has been getting difficult to keep track of all the new ones that come up everyday.
Mostly blond american jokes which get transferred to sardar jokes are popular here.

Okay answer me this :

Santa Singh told his wife that after his death she should marry Banta Singh. “But why should I marry Banta who is your enemy no 1″ enquired his wife. Guess what santa replied. You will have to wait till at least tomorrow to know the answer to this question.

Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh ‘Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?’ Santa replied, ‘They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.’ ‘That’s an awfully exact number,’ says the tourist. ‘How do you know their age so precisely?’
Guess what Santa replied now. You will have to wait till at least tomorrow to know the answer to this question too.

Once a sardarji was selected in Kaun Banega Crorepati. He was sitting next to Amitabh Bachchan.

Amitabh: ‘Sat sri akal ji’
Sardarji: ‘Sat sri akal’

Amitabh: ‘To aap Delhi se hain’
Sardarji: ‘Ji haan’

Amitabh: ‘To aap yahan apne pitaji ke saath aaye hain’
Sardarji: ‘Ji haan’

Amitabh: ‘Apke pitaji ka naam’
Sardarji: ‘Humm’

Amitabh: ‘Apke pitaji ka naam’
Sardarji: ‘Humm’

Amitabh: ‘Hamne pucha apke pitaji ka naam’

Sardar ji stares blankly at amitabh bachhan..
and answers..

Santa: ‘Apne char option to deeye hei nahin !!!!!’

And here is one that really made me jump up from my seat and roll on the floor with laughter…

One Santa was going to Chandigarh from Pune by an air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.

But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat.But the sardaji told:”I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave“. The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat.But sardarji was adament and did not leave.

Then the air hostess went and told the asst captain. He also came and requested,but Santa didnt leave.

Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji,and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished,the airhostess and the Asst. Capt. asked the Capt afterwards what he told to the sardarji.

Capt. told :”Nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh.All others will go to Jalandhar.”

After years of togetherness of Mr. and Mrs. Bean, meet the kiddo now, yup, this time, ladies and gentlemen I introduce you little Bean! He’s studying in his fifth grade, but see….he has already turned out to become so smart and wickedd… Check out our lil’ Bean!

Call him notorious, but Lil’ Bean is something! He throws parties and invites his friends over and chills out with bottles of beers and wines. Check out his outrageous b’day bash:

The young dude is so very notorious that you won’t believe how he treats woman…I mean girls…..oh, I mean other kids. Nevermind, see him in a new avatar here:

Mr. and Mrs. Bean are wondering what to do with their little boy. May be you can help. Tell us what should be done to the boy, there has to be a way to stop his mischief?!! What do you say?