Nasty and Rude Jokes



Here Soap! Here Water!



A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners.

When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.

“Were these dishes ever washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.

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She replied, “Of course they were cleaned Father. They’re as clean as soap and water could get them.

He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and they all started eating. The meal was delicious and he paid his compliments in spite the dirty dishes.

When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yells:
“Here Soap! Here Water!”


Happy Little Old Man



A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?”

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“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”

“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six!” he said.


Get away from her



A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.

Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart.

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It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, “Ginger!” The woman thought, “This is great!”
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How To Be Annoying?



1. Drum on every available surface.

2. Sing the Batman theme incessantly, going “Batman!!”

3. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

4. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

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5. Set alarms for random times.

6. Honk and wave to strangers.

7. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
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Baal nahi hai



3 auratein party mein jane ke liye sareeyan select karti hai

Pehli aurat: Mere pati ke kale baal hai isliye main toh kali saree pahan kar jaungi.

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Dusri aurat: Mere pati ke safeid (white) baal hai toh main white saree pahan kar jaungi.

Tisri aurat boli: Mere pati ke baal hi nahi hai toh kya main aise hi jaungi.

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