Jokes Duniya

Boy to girl at a dance party: “Kya tum mere sath dance karogi?”

Girl reply: “Main bacche ke saath dance nahi karti.”

Boy: Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.

A man did accident and Police asked, where is a location of the accident?

The man replied, “approximately near milepost 499.”

Police asked again,”Where is milepost 499?”

The man replied again,”Probably between milepost 498 and 500.”

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?

Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.”

“I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.”

When the boy arrived home he told his mother.

The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!”

Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see which is the finest bat to stand on his side. So all the bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat drinks more blood, will be the winner!

So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood.

Dracula says, “Congratulations, how did you do that?” The bat said, “Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family.”

“Very good” said Dracula.

The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes all her face covered in blood. Astonished Dracula says, “How did you do that?”

The bat replies, “Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drunk the blood of all the children.”

“Impressive” said Dracula.

Now the third bat goes and comes back after three minutes literally covered in blood from top to toe. Dracula is stunned.

“How on earth did you do that?” he asked.

And the bat replies, “Do you see this tower?”

Dracula replies with a yes. And the bat says, “Well, I didn’t.”

Mr Mahen Lal grew up in America. At the age of 24 he decided to get married but he wanted a sati savitri type of girl who will cook and clean, take care of his family (typical girl).

His parents wanted him to choose a bride from his homeland. So Mahen goes to visits his old village.

He fell in love with Kamla (love at first site) kamlawati was uneducated, that’s one of the things Mahen liked about her because he knows how educated girls change in the U.S.

Anyway he said kamla to marry him promising her that they will go on a honeymoon. Kamla was amazed she thought to herself, “kya pati milla hai muje moon pe lejayega”

Continue Reading »