Jokes Duniya

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… What happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”

His son replies, “Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m married!!”

Broken Coffee Table $239.99 Hot Breakfast $4.20 Two Aspirins $.38 Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!

A kid found a new train by his father.

Kid : Train chalata hai, aur har mod per train ko rok ker kehta hai” jis ullu ke patthe ko uterna hai uter jaye”, phir train chalata hai aur wahi karta hai.

Father : Gusse me, kaisi language use kar rahe ho, badtameez, aur train cheen leta hai, aur bache ko mayus dekhker phir de deta hai aur bolta hai aab aisa mat bolna.

Kid : Phir train chalata hai, aur mod aate hei train rok ker bolta hai” jis ullu ke patthe ko uterna hai jaldi uter jaye, pehle hi ek ullu ke patthe ki wajah se train late ho chuki hai”.

Man asked God how much is the value of $100 million to you.

God : Its about 1 cent for me.

Man : God how long is 100 years for you.

God : Its about 1 second for me.

Man : God why don’t you give me $100 million its only 1 cent for you.

God : Sure but can you wait 1 second.

Ek din adaalat mein judge ne ek mujrim ko sajaa sunaate huye kaha, “Iske dono kaan kaat liye jaye.”

Mujrim ne bahoot bhaye ke saath kaha, “Rahem karo my baap, kaan kaat lenge toh main andha ho jaonga.”

Judge ne ascharya se poocha kaan kaatne se andhe kaise hoge, mujrim ne kaha “My baap kaan kaat lenge toh main chashma kahan lagaunga.”

One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified.

On the next Railway station the driver was caught: He was questioned how the incident happened.

He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc.

Then authorities questioned : Are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have overran that person.

The driver replied: “Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.”