Jokes Duniya

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful
parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
“Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that
this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says
some pretty vulgar stuff.”

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird
anyway.
She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and
waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, new
madam.”

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought,
“That’s really not so bad.”

When her two daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, “New
house, new madam, new girls.”

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh
about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been
raised.

Moments later, the woman’s husband ‘Keith’ came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,

“Hi, Keith!”

Question: What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?

Answer: Tea, please.

Question: Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea?

Answer: Ceylon tea

Question: How would you like it? Black or White?

Answer: White

Question: Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?

Answer: With milk.

Question: Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk?

Answer: With cow milk please.

Question: Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?

Answer: Um, I’ll take it black.

Question: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?

Answer: With sugar.

Question: Beet sugar or cane sugar ?

Answer: Cane sugar.

Question: White , brown or yellow sugar?

Answer: Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead.

Question: Mineral water or still water?

Answer: Mineral water

Question: Flavored or non-flavored?

Answer: I’ll rather die of thirst.

There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan !!!.

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, “Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!” And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, “Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!”

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees. !!!!

The Japanese exclaimed, “What??… so expensive!” There upon, the driver yelled back, “Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!

There once were four guys.

One guy was brought up in a hospital and all he knew how to say was “I did it! I did it!”

Then there was a guy who was brought up in a restaurant and all he knew how to say was “forks and knives!”

Then there was a guy brought up in a candy shop and all he knew how to say was “goodie goodie gum drops!”

Then the fourth guy was brought up in a glade plug in store and all he knew how to say was “plug it in! plug it in!”

One day they all met in a park and there was this dead guy on a bench.

A cop walks up and says who did this and the first guy said “I did it! I did it!”

And the cop says how did you do this and the second guy said “forks and knives!”

The cop says what do you have to say for your selves and the third guy says “goodie goodie gum drops!”

Then the cop says you are all going in the electric chair any last words and the fourth guy says “plug it in! plug it in!”

Attending a convention, 3 psychiatrists take a walk. “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears,” one says, “but we have no one to go to with our problems. Since we’re all professionals, why don’t we hear each other out right-now?”

They agree that this is a good idea. The first psychiatrist confesses, “I’m a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I over bill patients as often as I can.”

The second admits, “I have a drug problem that’s out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me.”

The third psychiatrist says, “I know it’s wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can’t keep a secret.”