Funny and Hilarious Jokes




There’s nothing RajniCan’t Do!!!



==>Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.

==>When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

==>Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!

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==>Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

==>Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

==>The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

==>Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.

==>Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!

==>Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!

==>There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!

Comments(6)| |

Ad for a good cook



Hotel Management gave advertisement for a good cook to recruit. One cook has sent one application as follows :

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“Dear Sir, I am a good cooker. If you appoint me, I am sure I will be able to cook you. When I was working earlier in a hotel I cooked them all.”

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It’s time to go to school!



Early one morning, a mother Sardarni went in to wake up her Sardar son.

“Wake up, son. “

“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”

Principal

“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”

“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!”

“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”

“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”

“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the PRINCIPAL!”

Comments(3)| |

Family Problem



Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar
drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man
said to the American, “You know my parents are
forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven’t even met once.” We call this arranged marriage.

bar

I don’t want to marry a woman whom I don’t love… I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.

The American said, Talking about love marriages… I’ll tell you my story.

Continue Reading »

Comments(10)| |

Three patients



Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

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Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

“Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”

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