Funny and Hilarious Jokes

What would you like to have??

Question: What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?

Answer: Tea, please.

Question: Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea?

Answer: Ceylon tea


Question: How would you like it? Black or White?

Answer: White

Question: Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?

Answer: With milk.

Question: Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk?

Answer: With cow milk please.

Question: Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?

Answer: Um, I’ll take it black.

Question: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?

Answer: With sugar.

Question: Beet sugar or cane sugar ?

Answer: Cane sugar.

Question: White , brown or yellow sugar?

Answer: Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead.

Question: Mineral water or still water?

Answer: Mineral water

Question: Flavored or non-flavored?

Answer: I’ll rather die of thirst.

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chotu ek aur chatai laga de beta.

7 sadhu 7 chatai per dhyaan lagakar baithe the.

Ek Aadmi aata hain aur sabse bujurg sadhu ko Pranam kar poochta hain


“Maharaj ladki nahi pat rahi hai.. kya Karu…?”

Woh sadhu sabse chote sadhu ko pukarta hain…

Aur kehtaa hain “chotu ek aur chatai laga de beta…. ”

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Amazing friends

Teen aadmi ek ganja, doosra langra, tisra andha jo road paar kar rahe thay ki ek bus ka guzarna hua toh pehla aadmi bola, “Abe sala kaun tha jo mere balon ki setting hi bigad di.”


Doosra bola: “Ruk-ruk abhi sale ko pakadta hun.”

Tisra bola: “Koi baat nahi chhodo maine already uska number note kar liya hai.”

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Yoga cures drinking

Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?


Woman: Yes, An Amazing Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

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Escaped gay convict

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:


“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

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