Funny and Hilarious Jokes




Customer Care in 2020…



Operator : Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your…

Customer : Hello, can I order..

Operator : Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?

Customer : It s eh…, hold………. on……889861356102049998-45-54610

Operator

Operator : OK… you’re Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile
is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?

Customer : Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

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God is with us



Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, “What do you think you are doing?

“What if you have an accident?”

policeman

The priests say, “Don’t worry, my son. God is with us.

The policeman says, “In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to ride on a motorcycle.

Comments(0)| |

Clever netaji



NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.

The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
“A million dollars”, he answered, “because I wish to donate it to M.I.T.”

The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.
]He asked for two million dollars. “I wish to give a million to my family, he explained,
“and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”

nasa.jpg

The last applicant
was our Indian politician (Lallu Prasad Yadav).
When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”

“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.
The Indian Politician replied, $1 million is for you, I’ll keep $1
million,and we’ll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars”

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Goony bird



After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day.

The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.

lazy.jpg

The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported “Goony bird” and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, “Goony bird! The table!”

Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, “Goony bird! The shelf!”

Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.

birds.jpg

“Wow!” said the wife, “If this doesn’t attract my husband’s attention, nothing will!” So she bought the bird and took it home.

When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. “Honey!” she exclaimed, “I’ve got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!”

The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, “Goony Bird, my foot!”

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A Wet Whisper!



A mother took her little boy to church.

While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.”

The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”

Church

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have to whisper.

The father looked at him and said, “Okay, just whisper in my ear.”

Comments(5)| |

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