Funny and Hilarious Jokes




Death of a Virgin



Two sisters lived together, and one became quite ill. Her doctor told her she had but a short time to live.

She spoke to her sister and said, “Jennie, when I die and you put up a gravestone, I want you to inscribe it just the way I tell you. I want them to put my name on it and underneath: BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.”

She died shortly thereafter, and Jennie went to the maker of the tombstone and explained what inscription she wanted. The gravestone maker told her that there were simply too many words to be put on the headstone.

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Bajaar band hai



Ek bar 3 andhe bus mein safar kar rahe the usme ek ki daye aankh se andha tha toh dusra baye ankh se andha tha toh tisra dono aankh se andha tha.

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Raste mein ek bola, “yaar aaj toh idhar ka bajar bandh hai toh dusra bola yaar isko toh thik se dikai bhi nahi deta bajar idhar ka bandh hai.”

Toh bich mein baitha bola, “Tum log bhi na andhe ho chuke ho, dhikai nahi deta bajar pura bandh hai.”

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Don’t forget me



There was a girl and a boy who were dating for the first time. The girl said, “Will you forget me after a day?” The boy said no.

The girl said, “Will you forget me after a week?” The boy said no.

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The girl said, “Will you for get me after a month or a year?” the boy said no.

The next day the girl Knocked on the boys door he said who is it and the girl said “I thought you would not forget me!”

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A great actor



There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theater where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, “this is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line “ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.”

Actor

The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he was practicing his line over and over again.

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Open the door



Two friends were talking by sitting road side.

Suddenly they saw a man came from his car and open it’s door for his wife.

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Then one friend told to other, “If a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife.”

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