Funny and Hilarious Jokes




Family Problem



Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar
drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man
said to the American, “You know my parents are
forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven’t even met once.” We call this arranged marriage.

bar

I don’t want to marry a woman whom I don’t love… I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.

The American said, Talking about love marriages… I’ll tell you my story.

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It’s time to go to school!



Early one morning, a mother Sardarni went in to wake up her Sardar son.

“Wake up, son. “

“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”

Principal

“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”

“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!”

“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”

“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”

“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the PRINCIPAL!”

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Four guys



There once were four guys.

One guy was brought up in a hospital and all he knew how to say was “I did it! I did it!”

Then there was a guy who was brought up in a restaurant and all he knew how to say was “forks and knives!”

Then there was a guy brought up in a candy shop and all he knew how to say was “goodie goodie gum drops!”

Then the fourth guy was brought up in a glade plug in store and all he knew how to say was “plug it in! plug it in!”

four-gys.jpg

One day they all met in a park and there was this dead guy on a bench.

A cop walks up and says who did this and the first guy said “I did it! I did it!”

And the cop says how did you do this and the second guy said “forks and knives!”

The cop says what do you have to say for your selves and the third guy says “goodie goodie gum drops!”

Then the cop says you are all going in the electric chair any last words and the fourth guy says “plug it in! plug it in!”

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Do you wanna get married?



Morning : If you do not prepare Breakfast then,
Taaapaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

slap

Evening : If you talk with girls.
Dishuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm….

punch

Night: If you Deny to take her to Restaurant.

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How to tell he is dead



Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table.

To decide who’s going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one.
“Break it to her gently,” they all urge.

shouting-woman.jpg

“Leave it to me,” he says. When Smith’s wife comes to the door, Anderson says, “Your husband just lost $500 playing cards.”

“How much?” the wife yells, eyes blazing. “Tell him to drop dead!”

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