Funny and Hilarious Jokes

A perfect gift for birthday

A husband and wife were shopping at a mall.

After some shopping the wife said, “Darling, its my mother’s birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric.”


The husband replied, “How about a chair??”

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My wife don’t like it

A police asked to a thief, “Why you went to stole same rack 3 times in a store?


The Thief replied, “Sir, I stole one dress for my wife and I came to change it twice.”

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Bank account did the job

A girl proposed a boy but the boy does not respond to her. After many days suddenly the boy called the girl and asks to meet him as he like her very much.

The girl became confused and asked the boy, “What Happened ? After so many days you accepted my proposal.”


The boy replied, “Today your father came to our bank and opened a new account, so I did not delay!!

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As fast as I could…

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.


The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

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The dead rabbit

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics.

He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor’s house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.


A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?”
The guy stumbles around and says, “Um.. no.. um.. what happened?”

The neighbor replies, “We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and some idiot had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage.

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