Funny and Hilarious Jokes

Train Crash

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: “What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?”

Tom says: “I would switch one train to another track.”

“What if the lever broke?” asks the inspector.

“Then I’d run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there”, answers Tom.

“What if that had been struck by lightning?” challenges the inspector.

“Then,” Tom continued, “I’d run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box.”

“What if the phone was busy?”

“In that case,” Tom argued, “I’d run to the street level and use the public phone near the station”.

“What if that had been vandalized?”

“Oh well,” said Tom, “in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo”.

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, “Why would you do that?”

“Because he’s never seen a train crash.”

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Emergency landing

Rajiv and Priya are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,” Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach.However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives.”


Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later, Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, “Priya, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?”

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Customer Care in 2020…

Operator : Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your…

Customer : Hello, can I order..

Operator : Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?

Customer : It s eh…, hold………. on……889861356102049998-45-54610


Operator : OK… you’re Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile
is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?

Customer : Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

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Comments(48)| |

Four guys

There once were four guys.

One guy was brought up in a hospital and all he knew how to say was “I did it! I did it!”

Then there was a guy who was brought up in a restaurant and all he knew how to say was “forks and knives!”

Then there was a guy brought up in a candy shop and all he knew how to say was “goodie goodie gum drops!”

Then the fourth guy was brought up in a glade plug in store and all he knew how to say was “plug it in! plug it in!”


One day they all met in a park and there was this dead guy on a bench.

A cop walks up and says who did this and the first guy said “I did it! I did it!”

And the cop says how did you do this and the second guy said “forks and knives!”

The cop says what do you have to say for your selves and the third guy says “goodie goodie gum drops!”

Then the cop says you are all going in the electric chair any last words and the fourth guy says “plug it in! plug it in!”

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Sohar Aur Biwi Soo Rahe

Raat ko sohar aur biwi soo rahe they. Ek dam se biwi ko sohar ki awaaz aayi, biwi uth kar sohar se poocha, “kya baat hai?”

Sohar ne bataaya, “ke meri kameez zameen par gir pari thi”


Biwi ne kaha ke, “toh itna shor kyun machaya”

Sohar bola, “ke uss kameez mein main bhi tha!!!”

Comments(13)| |

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