Funny and Hilarious Jokes




Transfering the pain



A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labour pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it.

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The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.

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The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.

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Railway accident



Once a young mas was asked in an interview “Did you ever meet any Railway accident?

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The man replied:
“Yes, once the train was going through a long tunnel I have kissed the father instead of his daughter.”

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Woman



Element name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic weight: (don’t even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

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Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Comments(93)| |

Train Crash



Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: “What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?”

Tom says: “I would switch one train to another track.”

“What if the lever broke?” asks the inspector.

“Then I’d run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there”, answers Tom.

“What if that had been struck by lightning?” challenges the inspector.

“Then,” Tom continued, “I’d run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box.”

“What if the phone was busy?”

“In that case,” Tom argued, “I’d run to the street level and use the public phone near the station”.

“What if that had been vandalized?”

“Oh well,” said Tom, “in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo”.

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, “Why would you do that?”

“Because he’s never seen a train crash.”

Comments(9)| |

Do you wanna get married?



Morning : If you do not prepare Breakfast then,
Taaapaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

slap

Evening : If you talk with girls.
Dishuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm….

punch

Night: If you Deny to take her to Restaurant.

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