Funny and Hilarious Jokes





If you will try to kiss



Girl : If you will try to kiss me main shor macha dungi

Kissing

Boy : Lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl : I know per formality to karni hi padegi.

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Death of a Virgin



Two sisters lived together, and one became quite ill. Her doctor told her she had but a short time to live.

She spoke to her sister and said, “Jennie, when I die and you put up a gravestone, I want you to inscribe it just the way I tell you. I want them to put my name on it and underneath: BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.”

She died shortly thereafter, and Jennie went to the maker of the tombstone and explained what inscription she wanted. The gravestone maker told her that there were simply too many words to be put on the headstone.

tombstone.jpg
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2 darjan pack kar do..



Ladki valentine ko Archies Gallary me …..

Ladki : Aisa card hai jispe likha ho mein sirf tumse aur sirf tumse pyar karti hu!

Man : Mil jayega.
girl buying card
Ladki :2 darjan pack kar do.

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Valentine for Osama



A little boy comes home from first grade and tells his father that he learned about the history of Valentine’s Day. “As Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” he asks, “Will God get angry at me for giving someone a valentine?”

The father thinks for a moment and then says, “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”

“Osama Bin Laden,” the boy says.

valentine-day.jpg

“Why Osama ,” his father asks in disbelief.

“Well,” David says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he’d jump with joy. And then he’d go all over and tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”

Father’s heart swells and he looks at his son with new found pride and joy.

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“David, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I know,” David says, “And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him.”

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Amazing friends



Teen aadmi ek ganja, doosra langra, tisra andha jo road paar kar rahe thay ki ek bus ka guzarna hua toh pehla aadmi bola, “Abe sala kaun tha jo mere balon ki setting hi bigad di.”

three-friends.jpg

Doosra bola: “Ruk-ruk abhi sale ko pakadta hun.”

Tisra bola: “Koi baat nahi chhodo maine already uska number note kar liya hai.”

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