Funny and Hilarious Jokes

Bank account did the job

A girl proposed a boy but the boy does not respond to her. After many days suddenly the boy called the girl and asks to meet him as he like her very much.

The girl became confused and asked the boy, “What Happened ? After so many days you accepted my proposal.”


The boy replied, “Today your father came to our bank and opened a new account, so I did not delay!!

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Bitten by vampire

Patient: Doctor, I think that I’ve bitten by a vampire.

Doctor: Drink this glass of water.


Patient: Will it make me better?

Doctor: “No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.”

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Saving a president

One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.
Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.

After cleaning up he said, “Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I’ll give it to you.”


The first boy said, “Please, I’d like a ticket to Disneyland!”

“I’ll personally hand it to you,” said Bush. “I’d like a pair of Nike Air Turbos,” the second boy said.
“I’ll buy them myself and give them to you,” said Bush. “And I’d like a wheelchair with a stereo in it,” said the third boy.


“I’ll personally … wait a second, son, you’re not handicapped!”

“No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning.”

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Does your dog bites

A man was sitting near a dog. Another man appeared there and asked the first man Does your dog bites?

Man: No


The second man sits and the dog bites him!

Second man angrily: “You said it does not bites!”

Man: “This is not my dog.”

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My wife don’t like it

A police asked to a thief, “Why you went to stole same rack 3 times in a store?


The Thief replied, “Sir, I stole one dress for my wife and I came to change it twice.”

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