Funny and Hilarious Jokes

Secret of a happy life

Once X asked Y, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?”

Y said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”

X asked, “Can you explain?”

Y said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each others decisions.”

Still not convinced, X asked Y “Give me some examples”
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The dead rabbit

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics.

He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor’s house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.


A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?”
The guy stumbles around and says, “Um.. no.. um.. what happened?”

The neighbor replies, “We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and some idiot had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage.

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Zookeeper and three boys

A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lion’s cage and asks them their names and what they’re up to.

The first boy says,
“My name’s Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”


The second boy says, “My name’s Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”

The third boy says, “My name is Peanuts.”

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Bania’s blood

A rich man needed blood for his heart surgery.

He got it from a poor Bania.

The rich man gave him 5 million dollars. Once again the rich man needed blood for surgery.


Bania was more than happy to donated blood again. This time, the rich just gave him a Cadburyes Chocolate. Bania asked the reason.

The rich man now replied: “Now I also have Bania’s blood in my body.”

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Dance party

Boy to girl at a dance party: “Kya tum mere sath dance karogi?”

Girl reply: “Main bacche ke saath dance nahi karti.”


Boy: Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.

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