Funny and Hilarious Jokes




Ek tha Raja



Ek tha Raja…

King

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Funny urine test



Once a husband put some urine in a bottle to take to doctor as doctor has given his urine test. But he forgot to take the bottle and left for office. By this time wife saw the bottle and she thought may be some water in the bottle she washed and keep it.

After sometimes husband telephoned her that I forgot to bring the bottle of urine, so I am right now coming home to take the bottle.

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Pregnant wife afraid and to avoid scolding she has taken her urine in the same bottle and keep it for his husband. When the man take the bottle to the doctor after urine test doctor told that “You are pregnant”.

The husband came to home and told to wife “I told you not to come top, now doctor is telling that “I am pregnent”.

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Policeman and Driver



A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a Breathalyzer.
I can’t do that, officer.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.”

police

“Okay, we’ll just get a urine sample down at the station.”

Can’t do that either, officer.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.”

“All right, we could get a blood sample.”

“Can’t do that either, officer.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die.”

“Fine then, just walk on this white line.”

“Can’t do that either, officer.”

“Why not?”

Because I’m drunk.” …

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American holiday



Osama consults a psychic about the date of his death.

Psychic: You will die on an American holiday.

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Osama: Which one?

Psychic: Anyday you die shall be an American holiday.

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Ritu bomb hai



Ek baar ek terrorist ne Ritu ke ghar mein bomb rakh diya.

Log chillaye : Ritu bomb hai, Ritu bomb hai.

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Ritu sambhal kar boli : Dhatt teri ki, woh toh mein jawani mein thi !! Ab nahi rahi.

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