Jokes Duniya

# Sign on a railway station at Patna :
Aana free, jaana free,
pakde gaye to khana free.

# Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay :
Don’t whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!

# Sign at a barber’s saloon in Juhu, Bombay :
We need your heads to run our business.

# Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative
More the success, more the relatives.

# A traffic slogan:
Don’t let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be…..

==>Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.

==>When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

==>Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!

==>Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

==>Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

==>The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

==>Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.

==>Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!

==>Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!

==>There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!

A Gujju having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God.

God happy with his prays, grants him a wish but its only one wish!

Gujju thinks about his wish and says, “I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child’s hands in our new mansion!“

Here’s the simplified version of Chinese language. A lot of things make sense here. Do check it out and try to understand them:

Wai U Shao Ting — There is no reason to raise your voice.

Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift

Dum Gai - A stupid person

Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese invention

Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?

Kum Hia - Approach me

Shai Gai - A self-conscious person

Wan Bum Lung - A person with T.B.

Wai So Dim - Are you trying to save electricity?

Tai Ne Po Ne - A small horse,
Tai Ne Bae Be - A premature infant

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”