A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the toilet.
He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, “I have sipt in this beer, do not drink!”.
After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, “So did I!”
Santa walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks “This guy doesn’t know the difference,” so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch.
Santa takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender, “I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!”
Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch. Santa takes a sip…same reaction. But the bartender still doesn’t believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch.
Again, same reaction from Santa. Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours a glass of 12-year-old scotch. Santa takes a sip and is most satisfied.
All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching. He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkenly says, “Hey mishter, tashte this!”
Santa obliges…he promptly spits it out. “It tastes like piss,” Santa shoots back at the drunk.
The drunk replies: “It ish. Now tell me how old am I ?”
A conversation between a bartender and a man:
Bartender: What happened? You look wrecked!
Man: I had it all – Money, A beautiful house, The love of a beautiful woman…..
Bartender: Then… what went wrong?
Man: Well, then my wife found out!
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.
Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?”
“My mother died in August,” he said, “and left me $25,000.”
“Gee, that’s tough,” he replied.
“Then in September,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $90,000.”
“Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.”
“And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000.”
“Three close family members lost in three months? How sad.”
“Then this month,” continued, the friend, “absolutely nothing!”
Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says “Johny Walker single”.
Man on his left says “Peter Scotch single”.
Sardar says – “Baljith Singh Married”
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