Jokes Duniya

A man walks out of a bar and sees a bum panhandling on the corner. The bum says, “Mister, can you spare a dollar?”

The man thinks a minute. Then he asks the bum, “If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it to buy liquor?“

“No,” says the bum.

The man then asks, “If I give you a dollar, are you going to use it for gambling?”

Again the bum says, “No.”

So the man says to the bum, “Do you mind coming home with me so I can show my wife what happens to someone who doesn’t drink or gamble?”

A guy walks into a bar and there’s a horse serving drinks.

The horse asks, “What are you staring at?”
Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?”

The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

There was a guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”

“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me.

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There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk. I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home.

As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face.

Well the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything he punched her again.

This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her , then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.

By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn’t move very much, so then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said, “Not so strong tonight, are you Batman?”

There’s this drunk man standing out on the street corner.

A cop passes by and says, “What do you think you’re doing?”

The drunk says, “I heard the world goes around every 24 hours and I’m waiting on my house. Won’t be long now, there goes my neighbour.”