Jokes Duniya

One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here.”

The astonished Chinese man replied “It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese”. “Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,” replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says “You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.”

Shocked, Spielberg replies “It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.”
The Chinese replies, “Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re all the same.”

Paddy and Seamus were walking home from the pub. Paddy says to Seamus, ‘What a beautiful night, look at the moon.’

Seamus stops and looks at Paddy, ‘You are wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.’ Both started arguing for a while when they come upon a real drunk walking in the other direction, so they stopped him.

‘Sir, could you please help settle our argument?

Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?’ The drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them, and said,

‘Sorry, I don’t live around here.’

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.

She then says “I want you to see this.” She puts a worm in the water and it swims around.

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, “What do you have to say about this experiment?”

He responds by saying: “If I drink whiskey, I won’t get worms!”

Two guys chatting in a bar:

First guy: Tell me three fastest ways of communication? But hey, the first three letters gotta be “Tel”.

Second guy: Well, lemme see, Telephone, Television…ummm…

The second guy starts to think about other possibilites.

First guy: Okay, I’ll tell you, the fastest means of Communication : 1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3.Tell something to a Woman and if you still want it to be way FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.