Jokes Duniya

A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive 30-year-old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him.

Then without pausing, he quickly downs each one. “Whew”, the bartender remarked, “you seem to be in a hurry.”

“You would be too if you had what I have.”

“What do you have?” the bartender sympathetically asked.

“Fifty cents.”

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:

Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”
Bartender:“What is a B and C?”.

Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”
Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”
Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”
Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”
Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”
Bartender: “What’s a 15?”
Blonde: “7 and 7″

A drunken man phoned the local police department to report that thieves had been in his car.

“They have stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time, and the same voice came over the line.

“Never mind,” the drunk said with a hiccup. “I got in the back seat by mistake.”

The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.

1. It’s an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

5. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

6. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

7. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

8. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

9. If someone does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.

A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

“Sorry I can’t serve you,” States the barman.

“Why not?” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.

“You’re under 18,” replies the barman.