Jokes Duniya

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.

Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?

Waiter: Woh langra tha.

Sardar: Dil?

Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.

Sardar: Dimaag?

Waiter: Murga sardar tha…

Ravan : Devi bhiksha de.

Lady : Yeh lo swami.

Ravan : Rekha paar kar ke yahaan aake de do.

So she crosses the line…

Ravan : HaHaHa.. main Bhikshuk nahi… Ravan hoon !!!

Lady : Main bhi Seeta nahi, kamavali bai hoon !!!

Santa and banta singh were both in a mental hospital. Once they were walking past a swimming pool, santa suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.

Banta promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and pulled santa out.

When the medical director became aware of banta’s heroic act, he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered him to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell banta the news he said, “Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged because since you were able to jump in and
Save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses. The bad news is santa, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Then banta replied, “He didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry.”

A 60 year old woman was walking along when she heard a voice from above “You will live to be 100.”

She looked around and didn t see anyone. Again she heard, “You will live to be 100.”

Oh! she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years to live! So off she went to the plastic surgeon.

She got everything fixed from head to toe. When she left the plastic surgeon’s office, she got hit by a bus,died, and went up to heaven.

She said to God, “You told me I would live to be 100. I was supposed to have had 40 more years. So how come you let the bus kill me?”.

God said, “I didn’t recognize you”.