Jokes Duniya

Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to become a doctor?

Needless to say he never made it. You know why?

These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.

Antibody - Against everyone
Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - Back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - A district in Rome.
Cardiology - Advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan - Searching for lost kitty.
Chronic - Neck of a crow.
Coma - Punctuation mark.
Cortisone - Area around local court.
Cyst - Short for sister.

Diagnosis - Person with slanted nose.
Dilate - The late British Princess Diana.
Dislocation - In this place.
Duodenum - Couple in blue jeans.

Enema - Not a friend.

Fake labour - Pretending to work.

Genes - Blue denim.

Hernia - She is close by.

Impotent - Distinguished/well known.

Labor pain - Hurt at work.
Lactose - People without toes.
Lymph - Walk unsteadily.

Microbes - Small dressing gown.

Obesity - City of Obe.

Pacemaker - Winner of Nobel peace prize.
Proteins - In favor of teens.
Pulse - Grain.
Pus - Small cat.

Red blood count - Dracula.

Secretion - Hiding anything.

Tablet - Small table.

Ultrasound - Radical noise

Santa: I am going ka matlab batao.

Banta: Main ja raha hoon.

Santa: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata.

Ek baar ek kavi sammelan chal raha tha. Bhaut se kavi bore kar rahe they. Ek sardar se jab nahi raha gaya toh woh khud stage par aaya aur bola ab suniye.

Ek kutta… Loge bole wah wah
Sardar phir bola Ek kutta, kutte ke uper kutta

Log phir bole wah wah wah
Sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kuttey,
Unkey oper 3 kutte, Ab log silent ho gaye thodi der baad ek aur sardar bole wah wah

Manch wala sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kute, unke oper 3 kutte, unkey oper 4 kutte

Audience sardar pareshan hokar bola, bhai ye kaun sa sher hua? Manch wala sarda bola, abe tu sher mat sun tu balancing ko dekh….

Santa and banta singh were both in a mental hospital. Once they were walking past a swimming pool, santa suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.

Banta promptly jumped in to save him. He swam to the bottom and pulled santa out.

When the medical director became aware of banta’s heroic act, he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered him to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell banta the news he said, “Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged because since you were able to jump in and
Save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses. The bad news is santa, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Then banta replied, “He didn’t hang himself. I put him there to dry.”

Ek sardar subah subah jogging karne ke liye nikla apne kutte ke sath.

Rudra: Oye yeh subah subah gadhe ke saath kaha jaa rahe ho?

Sardar: Oye yeh gadha nahi kutta hai.

Rudra: Oye main kutte se hi pochh raha hoon.