Two girls are talking about their future husband. One is telling that she will marry An archeologist. Second girl asked why?
She told, “An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have.The older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
An Arabian was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.
Consul : What is your name?
Arab : Abdul Aziz
Consul : Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul : I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels
Consul : Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai.
Girl of 2007 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai. 
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day.
The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment.
This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.
The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported “Goony bird” and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, “Goony bird! The table!”
Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, “Goony bird! The shelf!”
Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.
“Wow!” said the wife, “If this doesn’t attract my husband’s attention, nothing will!” So she bought the bird and took it home.
When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. “Honey!” she exclaimed, “I’ve got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!”
The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, “Goony Bird, my foot!”
A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there’s a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it’s Texas he’s sent to the electric chair.
On the day of his execution he’s sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
“Well” says the man, “Is that your packed lunch over there?” “Yes” answers the executioner. “Can I have that green banana?”
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