Jokes Duniya

Bush: Tujhe swimming aati hai?
Laaloo: No!

Bush:Tere se kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Laaloo: Tujhe aati hai?

Bush:Haan!
Laaloo: Fir tere mein aur kutte mein kya farak hai…

Rabri Devi died and went to hell (as expected…)

As she stood in front of Yamraj, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.

She asked, What are all those clocks?

Yamraj answered, Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

Rabri : “Oh”, Who’s clock is that?

Yamraj : âThat’s Gautam Buddha’s. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.

Rabri : And whose clock is that?

Yamraj : That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life.

Rabri : Where’s my Laloo’s clock?

Yamraj : Laloo’s clock is in my office, I’m using it as ceiling fan.

When USA completed 1 years of occupation over Iraq, US President George Bush wanted a special postage stamp issued for Iraq, with his picture on it.

He so instructed the Head of United States Postal Service, stressing that postage stamp should be of international quality.

The stamps were duly released of the stamp, Bush began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and he becomes furious.
He called Paul Bremer and ordered him to investigate the matter.

Paul Bremer checked the matter out at several post offices in Iraq, and then reported on the problem to Bush.

He said: “Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, Iraqi citizens are spitting on the wrong side!“

A man walks into a scientist’s lab looking to buy a new brain. He asks the scientist how much the brains cost.

The scientist says, “Well first we have a normal human brain, it costs $1000, next we have a scientist’s brain, it costs $5000, and then we come to a politician’s, it costs $10,000.”

“How come the politician’s brain costs so much?”, asks the man.

The scientist replies, “Because it’s never been used.”

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA. A few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks,

Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
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