Jokes Duniya

A lady is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

“I want you to stop eating regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”

When the lady returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”

The lady nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.

“No, from skipping,” replied the lady.

Rajiv and Priya are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,” Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach.However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives.”

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later, Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, “Priya, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?”

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A man walking along a goa beach was deep in prayer.

Suddenly, the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Mumbai so I can drive over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

The Lord replied, “You want 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge?”

Got my first real six rupees,
Stole it from my father’s pants.
Went to a madrasi hotel,
To eat the sambhar of 69.
Me and some kadke dost,

Had it all and we caught bukhaar,
Jimy puked, joey got ulcers,
And Bagga ne maari dakar.

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January - ROSE

February - PROPOSE

March - GIFT

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