Beware of the Panda
A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.
The owner of the restaurant says, “Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don’t understand.”
The panda says, “Look it up in the dictionary,” and walks out of the door.
So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading “Panda”. It reads:
“Panda black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.”
Wives affairs
Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”
His second friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.”
Santa says, “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.”
Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. “No I’m serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed and it wasn’t mine.”
Submitted by: Pradeep
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