Jokes Duniya

A 60 year old woman was walking along when she heard a voice from above “You will live to be 100.”

She looked around and didn t see anyone. Again she heard, “You will live to be 100.”

Oh! she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I’ve got 40 more years to live! So off she went to the plastic surgeon.

She got everything fixed from head to toe. When she left the plastic surgeon’s office, she got hit by a bus,died, and went up to heaven.

She said to God, “You told me I would live to be 100. I was supposed to have had 40 more years. So how come you let the bus kill me?”.

God said, “I didn’t recognize you”.

One big ship suddenly falls in danger in mid sea and sea water entered in to the ship. Everybody was running fast here and there.

A young couple have seen that one very old lady is also running but she has picked up her skirt upto her heap.

So they told the old lady “Granny, why did you lift up your skirt, pls put it down.”

The old lady told “Oh no no, my 85 years old body people can see no problem but my costly skirt I can not let it be destroyed.

The old man ordered one hamburger,one order of French fries and one drink and the old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.

He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

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An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts.

One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime.

“Don’t worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway,” the old man replies. “Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M’s.”

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the great depression. I was down to my last nickel.”

“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, i sold the apple for ten cents.”

“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.”

“Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”