A car owner taking interview of a driver and finally he told, “OK. you are selected and you will get $ 2000 as starting salary.”
The driver answered, “You are great Sir ! For starting if $2000 then for driving how much sir?
There once were four guys.
One guy was brought up in a hospital and all he knew how to say was “I did it! I did it!”
Then there was a guy who was brought up in a restaurant and all he knew how to say was “forks and knives!”
Then there was a guy brought up in a candy shop and all he knew how to say was “goodie goodie gum drops!”
Then the fourth guy was brought up in a glade plug in store and all he knew how to say was “plug it in! plug it in!”
One day they all met in a park and there was this dead guy on a bench.
A cop walks up and says who did this and the first guy said “I did it! I did it!”
And the cop says how did you do this and the second guy said “forks and knives!”
The cop says what do you have to say for your selves and the third guy says “goodie goodie gum drops!”
Then the cop says you are all going in the electric chair any last words and the fourth guy says “plug it in! plug it in!”
An Arabian was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A. Visa.
Consul : What is your name?
Arab : Abdul Aziz
Consul : Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul : I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels
Consul : Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Six guys are playing poker. After losing $500 on one hand, Smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table.
To decide who’s going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. Anderson picks the short one.
“Break it to her gently,” they all urge.
“Leave it to me,” he says. When Smith’s wife comes to the door, Anderson says, “Your husband just lost $500 playing cards.”
“How much?” the wife yells, eyes blazing. “Tell him to drop dead!”
A lady is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to stop eating regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the lady returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?”
The lady nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the lady.
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