Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?
They are for those who don’t drink!
How do you keep a blonde busy?
You give her a bottle of shampoo that says: “Lather, rinse, and repeat.”
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t. They’re born that way.
Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn’t wake up the Sleeping Pills.
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying
“Disney World Left!”
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said “Oh well!” and started driving back home.
Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, ”Ready! Aim!” Suddenly the brunette yells, ”EARTHQUAKE!!!” Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ”Ready! Aim!” Suddenly the redhead yells, ‘‘TORNADO!” Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!” and the blonde yells, ”FIRE!!!”
A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane. The plane was going down fast and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.
The pilot took one and jumped then the movie star took one and jumped and then the blonde took one and jumped.
The pope told the brunette to take the last one. The brunette said, “There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my bag!”
Once all the blond held a grand meeting to prove that the blonds are not stupid. They are also as smart as others. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blonds are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A blond works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, “What is 15 plus 15?”
After 15 or 20 seconds he says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blonds start cheering, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, Uh, I guess we can give him another chance.”
So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened – the blonds starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance– What is 2 plus 2?”
The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?” Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 blonds jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…
“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
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