Children and Kids Jokes



Evils of liquor

(17 votes, average: 4.53 out of 5)
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A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.

Professor

“Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” the professor asked.

Shyam, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.”


God is watching

(22 votes, average: 4.32 out of 5)
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

“Take only ONE. God is watching.”

child

Moving further along the lunch line,at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note:

“Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”


Browsing marriage and honeymoon

(16 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5)
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While browsing through the marriage and honeymoon photographs of the parents, the Beta asks his Papa:

Beta : “Papa, Papa, Jub aap aur mama honeymoon pe gaye thai, tab main kahan tha?”

Man and son

Baap : “Beta, jaate samay tum Papa ke paas tha, aate samay tum Mama ke paas thai.”


Confession of a kid

(32 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
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Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.” Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Red bike

Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby’s mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

“Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.”

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

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