Jokes Duniya

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8:30!”

The guy replies, “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

What these words on yearly performance reviews really mean:

OUTGOING PERSONALITY – Always going out of the office

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Spends lots of time on phone

ACTIVE SOCIALLY – Drinks a lot

INDEPENDENT WORKER – Nobody knows what he/she does

WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY – Too ugly to get a date

USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS – Gets someone else to do it

HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES – Is tall or has a louder voice

EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT – Lucky

CAREER MINDED – Back stabber

LOYAL – Can’t get a job anywhere else

OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION – Gets to work on time

EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL – Speaks English

RELAXED ATTITUDE – Sleeps at desk

Do you want to impress or confuse clients or Vice versa? Use Techno vocabulary. It can be called the “Buzzword” writing method. It is simple.

There are three columns of words involved, as follows:

Just select any three-digit number; then use the corresponding Buzzwords from the above grid, e.g., 257: “integrated modular capability“.

Don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense to you; it won’t mean anything to anyone else either, but they’ll think you’re just smarter than they are so they won’t say anything!!!

You can propose “systemized reciprocal options” (929) to achieve “optimal transitional flexibility” (568), so that we can think of an “integrated monitored projection”, and then your boss will probably promote you or your customer will be blown away with your technological superiority…!!

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”

Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”

“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”

“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”

Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks.”

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”

The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.

1. It’s an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

5. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

6. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

7. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

8. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

9. If someone does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.